Person of Interest Season 3 Rewrite: CaReese Edition
by iheartShules
Summary: A rewrite of season 3 of the show where Carter lives on, this takes place 3x10. Heavily centered on CaReese and AU since she lives and CaReese romance is eventual in this :D *summary and title sucks sorry* Rated T for now :)
1. Chapter 1

_**AN: I have been writing this story since about December of last year off and on, just bits and pieces here and there because it was my therapy after Carter was killed. It wasn't ever going to be posted since it wasn't really flushed out, and didn't really hold much plot other than rewriting what the show did which was namely killing off my badass, fucking a-mazing, beautiful, intelligent, and vulnerable Carter**_. _**And ripping Reese's heart right out of his freaking chest just as he was healing and actually trying to move on. Talk about drop kicking character growth right out the window, Reese went back several million steps, and isn't himself since. Poor guy! So in this I rewrote from 3x10 on with a slight tweak to 3x09 which is namely the bullet's position in her chest. The story is all Carter and Reese, all the episode plot points for this story is for the sole purpose to push forward Reese and Carter's story. That's it. I'll try to tell you which episodes is in which chapter, I know some Careesers have quit watching the show, and I can understand why. I haven't stopped watching the show mainly because I watch for Reese...I can't quit my Jim he's an addiction, but I fully support my fellow Carter and Careeser fans who have quit! I love you all and I hope my therapy story for me, can help you guys too!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely zilch of Person of Interest, the characters, or anything recognizable. I just enjoy taking them out here and there :D**_

_**In this chapter it touches on The Devil's Share 3x10. And for a minor heads up there is going to be a lot of line-bars because it's going to move from different people's pov, and different times of the episode, so line-bars were my friend in this. I thank Elaine for proofing this for me since I wanted to post this in November in spirit of Carter's character! Long live Carter and Careese forever and ever! Enjoy!**_

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><p>It felt like he was moving under water. He had patiently waited until Finch had gotten to his feet and left. He didn't know where Finch was going, didn't care. John opened his eyes; his body ached, but nothing like his heart. What happened to Joss? Was she alive? Was she dead? He remembered her in his arms and he had become distraught when he thought she wasn't breathing. But Finch had forced him from her when officers came out...no, there was no way she could have survived.<p>

Simmons took her from him.

John grabbed the IV in his right hand, yanking it out, and an ache ebbed from there which was ignored. He struggled to sit up, he felt the pulling and tearing at his gunshot wounds. He didn't care about his physical pain. All he cared about was finding Simmons. Simmons took Joss from him and he was going to make that man suffer. Tears blurred his vision as he stumbled to his feet, bumping into things, and he shoved himself away from them. The sound of things crashing to the floor was the only noise besides his harsh breathing in the otherwise quiet apartment. Bear watched him with eyes wiser than a mere animal's.

He staggered to a closet that held a change of clothes not just for him, but for Finch and Shaw as well. John slowly and painfully pulled his man-in-the-suit attire on, trembling with barely suppressed anguish and fury. He lost Joss, he just knew it…he lost her, and he felt like he was suffocating in his agony. John heard a sound…was it him? It couldn't have been him, it sounded like a strangled sob.

Simmons took her from him.

He swayed as exited the bedroom as he moved towards the front door of the safe-house he stumbled, bumped into the sofa chair as he stared at the brown door, nearly toppling over with it as it crashed to the floor. John paused in his desperate pursuit of the exit, trying to work the drugs that were in system out. He had to find Simmons, he had to make him pay. Once the room stopped spinning, John finally managed his way to the front door; he found his gun and jacket both near the door and grabbed them. There was only one way today was ending….with the man that took Joss from him, dead.

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><p>Finch arrived at Manhattan General a good fifteen to twenty minutes after leaving John's bedside when he felt sure his friend was asleep for the morning. Harold hadn't wanted to leave John alone, but Ms. Shaw hadn't shown up at the specified time, and he truly wanted to go make a visit with Jocelyn. Fusco was already there by Jocelyn's side, and sadly there wasn't any sign of Shaw as he had been hoping. Unfortunately it seemed Shaw was unreachable, and it left him uneasy.<p>

"How is she?" Finch asked quietly as he entered the detective's private hospital room. He had paid for the best team of doctors, for the best room, and best care she could get. He was going to do everything he could to save Jocelyn Carter's life. She was a dear friend of his, Fusco's, and Ms. Shaw's, and she meant the world to Mr. Reese.

"Touch and go," Fusco responded gruffly. "She's still on life support but her vitals have been steady, doctors gave her a 50/50 split of surviving. They said the next 72 hours are the most critical, if she can pull through, there is a high likelihood she'll make it. The bullet did a lot of internal damage, almost nicked her heart. Had the angle of the bullet been any different, we would be burying her rather than praying she will pull through."

"Joss is a fighter." Finch quietly sat down across from the detective, with Joss between them, and he gently took Joss's limp hand before bowing his head.

"Yeah she is, so is her kid. He's been here since they brought her in the other night; Paul has been trying to reassure him that Carter had been through worse. Taylor said his mom will be fine because his mom doesn't let anyone dictate to her, and she sure the hell wasn't going to let some dirty cop dictate to her when she was going to die," Fusco said while Finch lifted his head as they shared a smile.

"He's a wise young man."

"Yeah," Fusco nodded his head. "How's our other wounded amigo?" Finch could see and hear the worry in the other man's face and voice. Lionel Fusco might enjoy calling John the bane of his existence, but clearly Lionel valued John in his life.

"His injuries aren't as severe as Jocelyn's but can be life threatening if he reopens the wounds that Dr. Tillman sutured. Mr. Reese has been heavily medicated to make sure his body heals."

"And so he won't go looking for revenge," Fusco supplied.

"Something like that," Finch admitted. Shaw and he had both decided to sedate Mr. Reese nearly to the point of over-medicating him. He had been worried that if Jocelyn didn't both through, John would do something that could end up getting himself killed. "I was wondering, detective, have you seen Ms. Shaw?" Finch asked quietly.

"No why?" Fusco sighed.

"She hasn't been answering her phone, she never showed up this morning to sit with John so I could come visit Jocelyn. I left Mr. Reese unattended."

"You sure that was a good idea, glasses, because I don't think our boy knows that Carter is in the hospital fighting for her life."

"John is medicated." Finch assured making Fusco nod his head curtly.

"Well I've been here for hours, we have round the clock police protection on her, just in case Simmons comes back to finish her off. Little Rambo hasn't been here since I got here."

"I see," Finch responded a bit concerned. He eyed his phone when a beep happened. He lifted his phone seeing that the silent alarm was set off at the safe-house. His eyes grew big. "I have to go."

"Everything alright?" Fusco watched his four eyed friend who looked panicked about something on his phone.

"I'm not sure, but, I need to check it out Detective." Finch said as he quickly stood up. But before he left he needed to ask of the detective something. "If she awakens, or if there is any change in her condition, please call me immediately."

"Of course," Fusco agreed without adding 'Einstein' or 'glasses' this wasn't the time to be glib or wisecracking. The elder man turned, limping hurriedly out of the room, and he wondered what had that man that upset. "Hey Carter you better wake up soon because I have a feeling World War III is about to erupt with our friends and Simmons." Fusco whispered having a really bad feeling.

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><p>Finch arrived at the safe house, the beep he received from the phone was an alert that the safe-house door had opened without the silent alarm being turned off. That feature was John's idea just in case they had a number who didn't want to stay-put, they would trip the alarm which would send them all a text, and they could use the GPS tracker they placed on the number to go grab them again. But this time Finch was praying it was just Ms. Shaw having forgotten they set the silent alarm to make sure John didn't leave without their knowledge.<p>

"Ms. Shaw," he called out as he entered. Finch, paused as he took in the apartment's state of duress. The sofa chair was toppled over, things littered the floor. "JOHN!" he called, panicked as he limped hurriedly, almost to the point of dragging his leg to the back bedroom where John had been. He stopped short as he entered the room John had been. The IV was on the bed which was empty, a rolling tray with medical supplies was knocked over. Medical supplies were quite literally strewn about the floor. John's clothing he had been wearing was marring the floor, the closet door wide open. Finch, whirled around rushing away. He noticed now that John's jacket was gone, as was his gun. Both had been near the door, his jacket hung up, and the gun on the table right beside the entrance.

Finch's phone rang he prayed it was John calling. He eyed it, seeing it was Detective Fusco, and immediately answered it. "Yes, detective, is Jocelyn alright?"

"She's holding her own, but that's not why I'm calling you, we have a big problem, you need to head to this address." Finch heard the worry in the man's voice.

"Where too detective?" He questioned and listened as Fusco gave him directions. When he hung up, Finch gave the safe house one last panicked sweeping glance, before he hurried out.

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><p>Fusco had left his partner's side when he had gone to his car to make some phone calls to the precinct, he had heard a disturbing call over the radio, and had quickly answered the radio call to go check it out. He made a quick call to glasses before heading to the scene.<p>

Fusco waited until he saw his friend hobbling over, to leave the scene. Finch was eyeing the burnt out wreck of a car, with a sad look. Fusco moved over to him. "I heard the call on the radio while I was making some calls in my car. I left Carter when I heard who witnesses placed at the scene of the crime. Someone t-boned them, then interrogated them while their car burned. Guys in front might make it, the guy in the back might make a good bag of charcoal. Witnesses put our pal the psychopathic vigilante at the scene." He murmured as they walked side by side. Finch paused turning back to the eye the wreckage, before looking back at him.

"Which one?" he asked softly.

"You mean both of your stray dogs are off the leash?" Fusco demanded, when Finch just stared at him, he softened a bit. "This was the handiwork of tall, dark, and deranged and I shudder to think what the other is up to. I thought you said he was heavily medicated."

"I have reason to believe one or both of them are looking to track down and kill Simmons." Finch offered, he had received Simmons' number on his way back to the safe-house after his short visit with Jocelyn. The machine had skipped the façade, rather just giving him Simmons' name, which was a first.

"We all want Simmons. The piece of crap shot and nearly killed my partner, and went after my kid. But the scorched Earth campaign is only going to make Simmons harder to find, not easier."

Finch turned to eye the wreckage once more. Maybe if he knew who John had attacked it might make it easier to find his missing and injured friend. John needed to know Jocelyn had a chance at surviving, maybe if he knew Joss might pull through they could stop him before something terrible happened. "Who were they?"

"Dirt-bags of the highest order; ran drugs, underage hookers, and a lot of paper."

"Paper?"

"Yeah, counterfeit bills, , passports for a forger named Yorke." Fusco murmured. Finch stood for a minute. Why would John go after them, maybe, this forger was contacted by Simmons and had these men make an I.D. or something for Simmons.

"We better find Mr. Yorke." Finch said quietly before they left the wreckage.

"And how do you presume we are going to do that, glasses?" he asked as they walked to Finch's car. "He's not that easy to find, and the men that might know where he was are already burnt to a crisp."

"Because as I said, detective, I have reason to believe not one but both of my friends are in search of Officer Simmons, so I'm going to try to track down Ms. Shaw. Her phone is on, John is without one." Finch explained as he opened the car door, after handing Fusco the keys. There was a good chance that Ms. Shaw might have gotten similar intel and might be looking for Yorke herself. Fusco muttered something under his breath, but, Finch was busy pulling up Ms. Shaw's location using her GPS on her phone. "I know where she is, detective, hurry." Fusco sped away from the curb without further insistence.

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><p>The officer at Jocelyn's door was paged at the clerk's desk, he eyed the distance between the desk and the door to Carter's room he was protecting, and when he determined it wasn't that far that nobody could enter without his knowledge he took the phone call. While the officer's back was to the door, two men slipped into the room, unnoticed.<p>

"Boss, should we hijack her out of here, we can get her quality care." Marconi asked. He didn't want anything to happen to his favorite detective.

"No, she's safe here; my former chess partner is taking care of her hospitalization. I was just coming to inspect her prognosis." Elias said quietly as he picked up Carter's chart. His friend eyed her, softly.

"Simmons is dead." Marconi guaranteed.

"Yes, he is, I fathom John is searching for him as we speak. However if he cannot do what needs to be done, we will." Elias looked through her chart. "It appears our favorite detective has a 50/50 chance at survival, her vitals have been sustained, and if she can get through these next few hours her chances of survival will go up. Come along, Tony, we must go now." Elias said quietly pressing a hand to Jocelyn's limp one. Marconi gave Joss one long look, before following his boss and friend out of her room, undetected.

The officer hung up the phone, moved to look in on her room, when satisfied Carter was alright and undisturbed, he closed the door and stood in front of the door once more.

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><p>He was close. Quinn was at this hotel in Queens, he had already lured several Federal Marshals away from the door with the car bomb, locked them out, and took care of the one at the front entrance and the owner of the hotel. John picked up his duffel bag full of flares, and a makeshift bomb before slowly making his way forward. He knew he had torn open his stitches after he had met with Yorke, it didn't matter if he bled out. He could bleed out <em>after<em> he killed Quinn and Simmons. He didn't want to live anyways, he couldn't live without Joss. John found the electrical box, opened the gray metal door, and cut the power.

He forced his body to move towards the stairwell, climbing the stairs knowing Quinn was on the third floor, and knew exactly what room number. Quinn's dirty defense lawyer had been easy to intimidate to get the information he wanted and nothing was going to stop him now.

If he figured correctly there would be a few teams of Federal Marshals strewn about the third floor, and second floor respectively. He quickly climbed the stairs, ignoring his pain, and found room number 215. He opened the duffel bag before quickly rigging the bomb with ease and precision. It was like going home, instinct taking over. He attached the bomb to the ceiling, before making sure the flares he needed to take away the Marshals use of night-vision goggles were all there. John picked the bag up, moaning softly as the pain in his side grew and more blood seeped out of his wound.

Joss was dead….

And his pain vanished, replaced with an emptiness that was growing at a rapid rate. John tugged his jacket around him tighter before he moved to the door, leaving the room. He moved up stairs to the third floor. He had to do this quickly. He exited the stairwell, seeing nobody out in the halls yet. He placed the flares in the middle of the floor, hearing talking, and he quickly hid himself back into the stairwell to lie in wait. John listened to his ragged breathing, male voices approaching down the hall, and he dropped the empty duffel bag on the floor.

"In three, two, one…" a man counted down and John rolled his eyes not waiting for the Marshals to open the door, quickly kicking the door open, and taking them on using their surprise to his advantage. They were probably geared up to take on the Russians not a man like him. He entered the hallway seeing one of the Marshals eyeing the flares. John, pulled his gun out, aimed, and fired on the flares setting one off, and then all of them went off. Cries from the Marshals as they were blinded, filled the corridor. Now was his chance to get to Quinn….so he could find and kill Simmons for taking Joss from him.

He made as quick work of the Marshals as he could, ducking as they randomly fired, hitting them to knock them out cold. He had only a few minutes before the other team would be coming up to help them out. Once he had taken down the last Marshal in front of him, he pulled out the detonator, and detonated the small bomb just as the door to the stairwell opened and men tried to come after him. John staggered forward, finding the team leader with a shotgun ready, motioning to the man he was protecting to come with him, obviously thinking it was clear. John pulled his gun out, put it to his head. "Sorry, but I need a word with the man you're protecting." John said hoarsely, taking the shotgun from him. The tall man held his hands up reluctantly.

"You just attacked a dozen Marshals, sorry is not going to cut it."

"They'll need some aspirin, maybe a little physical therapy, move." John assured as he pushed the man back into the room he had been trying to leave with Quinn. He pushed him down onto his knees. "You'll need to sit this one out." John eyed Quinn, not feeling anything as he knocked the man out cold. He motioned with the shotgun to get him to move. Quinn sat down in the corner, watchful of him as he put down the shotgun. He was afraid if he didn't, he would empty the shotgun chamber into this man before he got Simmons' exit.

John worked his throat, he was so close now. He took out a pad of paper and a pen, staining it slightly with a little smudge of blood, before moving close to Quinn, and dropped it front of him on a small table. "I want Simmons' exit." He commanded before turning and moving away.

"Loyalty, that's why Simmons came after you and Carter, loyalty." Quinn assured. John paused, closing his eyes, as he brought up Joss. Joss was gone, he lost her, and he wanted to die too, but not before he had Simmons. "That's how we built this whole damn thing, I'll be damned if I repay that loyalty by breaking it now. Even if you threaten to kill me."

John felt a stirring inside him, a stirring of who he used to be. The man that had changed thanks to Joss, her constant care for him, her constant belief he was a better man than he truly was. The monster that he worked hard to tame was clawing its way out, and he was thankful it was still there. He turned to eye Alonzo Quinn.

"You see that's where you and I understand each other. Now everything you do is an abomination but your word….your word is your bond. To your godson….to Carter. You do as you say, so do I." He moved towards Quinn, keeping his eyes on him while unhooking his watch on his wrist. "I'm not going to threaten to kill you, I'm going to kill you whether you tell me or not. No bargaining, in three minutes," he paused to drop the watch on the table on the pad of paper, to emphasize his meaning. "You're dead." He stated before turning to walk away, letting his implication to sink in. John had the say of when he chose to kill Quinn, whether it was truly three minutes, a minute, or ten….it was up to him.

"I've killed many people, never bothered me much, it was why I was good at it. I didn't like them suffering though, it took me years to figure out how to do it quickly, painlessly. But if you don't tell me I'm going to forget all that, understand." He whispered as he trembled, eyeing the monster in front of him, pulling his gun out of the back of his pants. His wound stretching, his dress shirt felt sickening wet against his body, he ignored it. "And I'll make the last three minutes of your life….last forever." John loathed the burning at the backs of his eyes.

Quinn sat staring at him, quietly. "What will it be, Quinn; suffer, or protect that loyalty?" John's throat felt like it was closing. His vision was blackened on the edges, but he kept watch as Quinn turned a little, picked the pen up, and began writing. He smiled a little they were all alike, he had Simmons, now. He licked his dry lips waiting for him to finish writing, before he moved to grab the scrap of paper. He yanked it out of the pad, turning to move away, letting Quinn think he was going to survive this. What a sweet torment it was, John turned aiming his weapon. "Time's up," he stated.

"Mr. Reese," John didn't blink as he heard the door open, heard Finch's soft and concerned voice beside him. "You know what Joss risked to take this man down on her terms, legal terms." Finch said quietly, hoping he could get through to his friend. The amount of blood that was gushing out of him was alarming. He was petrified another friend of his was going to be fighting for their life.

"Everything," Finch shivered. John's voice was dead, empty. But John's answer reminded him that John wasn't operating under the full story. He didn't know that Jocelyn's prognosis was going up rather than down.

"Jocelyn is fighting for her life John. She wouldn't want this, you're not doing this for her, so please if you're going to kill Mr. Quinn, don't view it that way."

"I should have killed him in the first place. Why didn't we Finch?" John wondered not even hearing him as he collapsed to his knees, leaning against the wooden dresser, keeping his weapon aimed at the man he was going to kill.

"It's not our purpose, we save lives, YOU save lives."

"Not all of them." John's vision blurred as tears welled up.

"Jocelyn's fighting to come back to us, to you, please don't give up on her. John….you're dying, she's going to need you. Please let us help you." Finch whispered trying to contain his fear, praying his friend was hearing him rather than listening to the anguish in his heart. He reached forward to take the gun from John's hand that was covered in blood.

"No," John aimed the gun and pulled the trigger, Finch's eyes widened in surprise, and watched as the gun he held had no ammo left. John kept pulling the trigger and nothing happened. The utter desolate and desperate look on John's face was heartbreaking as he looked at him, and Finch snatched the gun out of his hand. John was broken, chose to die rather than be saved, and Finch had never seen John like this. It was as if John had not heard him that Joss was in the hospital not dead, and it appeared that John rather die than live without her.

"Let's get him out of here," Fusco commanded. Shaw came over to help Finch. They needed to get him back to the safe-house get blood into him, stitch him back up, and medicate him. Surprisingly John was able to walk, though it was clear he was going into shock because he was easily fooled into believing they would take him to go see Joss (though he believed she was in the morgue). He collapsed into the car, with the aide of Root and Shaw. Root eyed John in shock and concern, Shaw was tending to him in the backseat.

"We should be going after Simmons," Shaw said after a few minutes of them driving away from where Quinn was holed up. John was out cold. "Reese got his location!" She had seen the paper but her first priority had been to get John.

"We almost lost one friend already, I don't intend to almost lose another, not tonight." Finch countered. He wasn't ready to lose either one.

"I can't believe we are going to let Simmons' get away!" Shaw grumbled.

"No one said Reese was the only one out to kill Quinn," Root spoke up as she drove, and that got Finch's attention. Who else….Fusco? But he couldn't concentrate on Patrick Simmons number coming up or saving his life, because first they had to save John's.

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><p>AN: Oh boy, how I wish this was real. Joss fighting for her life, rather than dead :'( I apologize for the roughness of this story and it will continue where it sort of breaks and comes to another point in the episodes or where I add missing moments and tags to this story. Here's the teaser for the next chapter:<p>

**"John, please, listen to me…Jocelyn isn't gone. She's not dead." Finch said easily subduing the bigger man's attempts to leave the bed. His eyes were wild, pain so vivid in them. His skin an ashen color, his attempts to get up, fled.**

**"She's not?" John sounded so tentative like he was scared to believe that to be the truth. Like this was a dream to him, that he had really lost Joss, and wasn't ever going to see her again.**

This story is about 14 chapters in length and it goes into season 4 :D. I have the first 5 back already from my friend who is proofing this for me because I asked her to for November since it's nearly a year since we lost our beloved Carter. So thank you Elaine for proofing this so quickly for me! I'm going to post this periodically and this story is definite Careese through and through XD


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: End of 3x10 and then the rest is all added by little ole' me :)**_

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><p>Shaw stood beside Finch who sat beside her, both of them eying their fallen friend. "Doctor said he's going to pull through, lost a lot of blood." Shaw whispered while Finch fidgeted with John's blanket. "I'm going to steal some morphine from Manhattan General, and check in on Carter."<p>

"Alright, Ms. Shaw."

"Where's Root?" Shaw questioned. She hoped that crazed woman hadn't escaped but she had been their only way of tracking down Reese. Carter would kick their asses when she got better, had John gotten himself killed. "Never mind, I'm heading out now."

"Yes, call me if Jocelyn's situation has changed."

"Will do," she agreed before moving away from John's bedside, exiting. It was quiet for a while, John had been out of it for a few hours now, and it was early morning. It had been a long night, a touch and go, sort of night. John had needed a few transfusions, he lost too much blood. He moaned as he came too. John's eyes opened, immediately going for the IV in his hand.

"John, relax." Finch murmured.

"No…Joss," he whispered hoarsely.

"John, please, listen to me…Jocelyn isn't gone. She's not dead." Finch said easily subduing the bigger man's attempts to leave the bed. His eyes were wild, pain so vivid in them. His skin an ashen color, his attempts to get up, fled.

"She's not?" John sounded so tentative like he was scared to believe that to be the truth. Like this was a dream to him, that he had really lost Joss, and wasn't ever going to see her again.

"She's at Manhattan General, John she's on life support and fighting for her life."

"I need to be with her." He struggled once more to get out of the bed. "I need to…"

"You need to get rest, and get better John. You are in no shape to go to the hospital to sit with her."

"I need to see her," John struggled to get up but Finch refused to release his shoulders. Even when John's strangled sob escaped him, Finch's eyes filled with his own tears, feeling like a heel but he was in no condition to go to her. "Please, Finch, I need to see her with my own eyes." Finch knew he was in bad shape when he couldn't even fend him off, and he was crippled.

"When you are well enough to walk, you can be with her, John. But I promised you I would never lie to you, and I promise, she's not gone from your life." Finch assured releasing one shoulder, to lean over to the table, and grab a prepared syringe that Shaw left that was filled with the last of the morphine.

"No, please, please Finch, don't." he begged, watching in agony as Finch easily injected the needle into his arm. "I need to go to her, I need to see her, to touch her I'll never know for sure she's alive if I don't. Please," He whimpered as struggled to keep his eyes open as the morphine immediately entered his system.

"I'm sorry, John, but your life matters to her and to us as well."

John struggled fruitlessly trying to remain awake, but, slowly he lost the battle against the morphine as he fell asleep. Finch fixed John's blanket, spoke a command to Bear, and exited the room while Bear remained and kept watch on his fallen master.

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><p>Shaw slowly exited Carter's hospital room with a soft smile as she slid off the lab coat, pulling on her jacket that housed the stolen morphine for Reese. "You, what are you doing here?" she turned when Lionel spoke.<p>

"You're her replacement watchdog, Lionel?"

"No, I'm here for a different reason, but what are you doing here? Besides, parading as a nurse?"

"Just finding out what's going on with Carter."

"How is she?" Fusco asked.

"She's off life support nearly ripping the tube from her own throat, but the docs took over while her son relieved her. Carter's vitals are stable and she's awake, her survival chances just took a dramatic change for the better. Our girl is one helluva fighter." Shaw spoke sounding proud, like she was Carter's mother. If you asked him it seemed like Shaw adored Carter.

"My partner would kick anyone's ass," Fusco agreed amicably. "Anything else happen in there that I should know about?"

"Her doctor gave her a minor exam seeing what mobility she has in her right arm, and she doesn't have much, which was what they feared. Bullet did a lot of internal damage to Carter, did a lot to the surrounding tissue. They have to run more tests on her to determine if she can regain any mobility in her arm back, and if she can it will take months of rehab." Shaw explained.

"Is that why you're here, checking up on her?" Fusco asked.

"Partly, I swung by to steal some morphine for our other injured friend." She said opening her jacket up, showcasing the stolen meds. His eyes widened. "We have to keep him medicated so he doesn't reopen those stitches again."

"Don't show me that, I'm a cop remember."

"Whatever, Lionel, keep watch on her."

"I will but not because I have too, not anymore, not with Quinn locked up and Simmons dead. He was murdered a couple hours ago, which is why I was called upon to the hospital. I was planning on swinging by later to see Carter."

"Simmons was murdered?"

"Yeah, there is clear evidence of a marking across his neck, preliminary cause of death; affixation." He stated. Well, there went that thought of watching Simmons on trial, but he couldn't exactly say he wasn't happy the piece of garbage was dead. He eyed the small operative that saved his son. "It wasn't you, right?"

"No, it wasn't me unfortunately. But good on whoever did do the deed, stopped me from having to do it myself at a later date. I have to go, Reese needs this morphine."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah stop reminding me that you stole meds." Fusco waved her off and she shrugged before she unhurriedly walked away. Fusco sighed as he walked to Carter's room, and entered. Taylor and Paul were already in the room, their eyes not looking away from the bed. The doctor turned to see who entered and smiled at him.

"Detective,"

"Doc," Fusco greeted. "How's my partner?"

"How about you ask her, yourself." Taylor said, looking up with a large grin on his face. Fusco felt his pulse begin to race not realizing she was still awake, as he walked to the bed, and the doctor moved back a bit. Carter's eyes were barely open, she looked like hell, but she was very much there with them.

"Carter," he greeted gruffly.

She worked her throat, before she mouthed Fusco. "Sorry, Lionel, mom is having some hard time talking. The doctor said it's due to her injuries, medication, and from having a tube down her throat."

"It's alright, we're just glad we have you back, Carter." Fusco assured feeling his eyes mist a bit. He rubbed her hand and she adamantly mouthed something at him. He furrowed his brows trying to figure it out. Soft sounds escaped her, as she became frustrated, and upset.

"Her heart rate is up," the doctor murmured as a nurse entered. They fiddled with her IV bag, before they gave her meds, and Joss's eyes slowly shut as she fell asleep.

"Is my mom alright? Was it too soon to take the breathing tube out?"

"No your mother's vitals before and since taking the tube out have remained the same, and are strong. Your mother will make a full recovery; I believe your mother's heart rate rose because of whatever she was trying to ask." The doctor said quietly as he eyed Fusco.

Fusco wished like hell he had known what she was trying to ask, it seemed really important to Carter….and just like that it hit him like a ton of bricks. She didn't know if John was alive. Geez, these two were more worried about each other than they were about themselves. "I think I might know what she was trying to ask, and believe me, I'm going to reassure your mother, Taylor."

The kid nodded his head, grateful.

"I have some phone calling to do, to let some friends know that your mom is going make it."

"Tell them thanks for worrying about her," Taylor spoke up knowing exactly who he was mentioning. Fusco exited the hospital room, immediately pulling out his cell and ringing up Einstein.

"Hello, detective, how is Jocelyn?"

"She's awake, breathing tube has been removed….the doctors were wrong, I knew they would be, Carter didn't need 72 hours to open her peepers because she's better than some pesky bullet wound." Fusco said with a soft laugh. It was either laugh with happiness, or cry like a baby with happiness, he chose the laughter. Carter had saved his life, he didn't know what he'd do without her, and gratefully he didn't have to know.

"Jocelyn, is alright?! Oh thank god," Finch sounded relieved, and elated.

"How's the bane of my existence?"

"Medicated, I assured John that Joss was in the hospital that she wasn't gone, and he had wanted to leave to go visit with her."

"How, he can't even stand up."

"I know that, detective, but when it comes to Jocelyn Mr. Reese does not care if he has to move heaven and Earth to be with her, he will be with her."

"Yeah well I think Carter nearly gave herself a heart attack."

"What do you mean?"

"She couldn't speak thanks to her ordeal, and she was trying to ask me something. Her heart rate went up when she got frustrated that I didn't understand her, the docs sedated her so she didn't cause herself any undue pain, but I think I know now what she was struggling to ask me."

"What, detective?"

"I think she wanted to know if John was alright."

"Oh, yes, Jocelyn wouldn't know what had become of John. She witnessed him being shot twice, if she remembered that fact, even in her medicated state it would be upsetting to her."

"Is it just me or do these two have something going on?" Fusco wondered out-loud. He really hoped like hell he wasn't the only one that saw it. "Because our guy went on a psychopathic rampage to get to Simmons, and Carter nearly gave herself an aneurism trying to find out if he was alright."

"I'm not sure, detective, but what I do know is that John values Joss in his life and it's clear that she values John in hers. The rest they'll just have to figure out as they go." Fusco snickered. Four eyes had basically answered his question without meaning too. He saw it too. The looks they gave one another, the way they looked out for one another's well-being, and had it been last year Fusco would have made jokes about it. But now, nah, wonder boy and Carter just fit. "Keep me informed, detective, and I'll try to be by there soon to see her myself." Fusco blinked as four eyes took him out of his thoughts, he had nearly forgotten he was on the phone with him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just take care of the big guy." Fusco said before hanging up with his friend. Today was hell of a lot better than yesterday. Yesterday Joss's outlook had been bleak at best, Reese had gone off the reservation nearly killing himself searching for Simmons. Fusco hadn't known if he was going to lose both people he valued the most besides his kid; Reese changed him, while Carter saved him, and he didn't want to lose either one of them. But today, early this morning in the wee morning hours he had arrested Simmons, arrived a few hours later to find out Simmons was murdered (not that he cared much for that filth being dead), and Carter was awake. Reese was back on his leash, getting the help he needed. Yep, today sure the hell was better than yesterday, and he just thanked god it was.

* * *

><p>Joss felt like she was coming out of a fog, like she had been asleep for years or something. She blinked her eyes open, looked around. Where was she? Oh right, the hospital. She had been shot in the chest by Simmons. Joss had no idea what day it was or anything, she only remembered waking up previously seeing her son, then realizing she couldn't speak to him, and there was something down her throat. She had nearly freaked out, struggling to yank it out, and then there were doctors around her….nurses, one that suspiciously looked like Shaw that calmed her down and removed the tube. They explained what had happened. She hadn't needed that, she already knew what happened to her, Simmons shot her. What she didn't know was what was happened to John? Was he alive? She'd kill Simmons if he took John from her, she'd hate John forever if something happened to him. She couldn't lose that stubborn man. She just couldn't. Joss felt panicked at the thought. She lost so much already. She shifted her head a bit when a beeping sound grew louder and quicker, when she realized it was her heart monitor.<p>

Joss forced herself to relax not wishing for the doctors or nurses to come in and sedate her. She didn't want to sleep, she was fearful that she had been sleeping for much too long as it was. Once she calmed herself, Joss looked around the room her eyes falling on a lone figure in a seat, and she smiled softly when she realized it was Harold. He had his cheek on his hand, elbow resting on the armrest, and he was asleep. "Finch," she whispered hating that her voice was still a no-show. She tried again. "Finch," it barely got a fraction louder but it was enough to rustle her sleeping friend awake.

"Jocelyn," his eyes immediately widened, a smile graced his face as he sat forward. "Thank god. How are you feeling?"

"Crappy," she whispered. "John….is he…" she couldn't even force the words out. Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart monitor began going crazy.

"Jocelyn, relax, please he's alright. He's alive." He assured patting her hand affectionately and soothingly.

"Oh god, thank you." She smiled as she eyed the ceiling, feeling a few tears leak out. "You're not just saying that because I'm in the hospital right?"

"No, I would never lie to you Jocelyn. John is alive, he's injured but recovering." Finch assured as she turned her head and eyed him.

"How bad was he injured?" Joss asked clearing her throat and the more she talked the louder her voice got. She was almost to above a whisper, which was progress.

"It was touch and go for the both of you for a while, yours was more severe, while his was due to blood loss." Finch sat forward touching her right hand softly. She tried to curl her fingers around his but could barely move her fingers. She panicked slightly as she tried again. "Joss, your heart rate is elevating again, what's the matter?"

"I can't grab your hand, Finch."

"Relax please, Joss, just concentrate on relaxing." Joss did as he suggested, when he was satisfied that her heart rate lowered that none of the doctors and nurses would arrive, he spoke again. "Jocelyn you don't remember the exam the doctors performed?"

"No, I remember my son, and seeing him crying and kissing me. I remember the doctors telling me I was shot, but, things get fuzzy after that." She admitted.

"When Simmons shot you, the bullet caused a lot of damage to you internally. You should really hear the rest of this from your son and the doctors."

"Tell me now," Joss pleaded. "I need to know what's going on."

"They aren't sure if the bullet caused permanent damage, they are hopeful that you will gain mobility back in your right arm with physical therapy, but aren't sure until more tests are performed."

Joss just nodded, refusing to feel sorry for herself. She was alive, John was too, and that was all that mattered. She would work her ass off to gain mobility back in her arm again. "Where's Taylor?"

"Paul took him home after I arrived."

"Good, he needs his sleep." She said quietly, yawning.

"So do you." He responded kindly.

"No, I don't want to sleep anymore. What day is it?"

"It's Friday, you were shot four days ago. You had emergency surgery just to save your life on Monday, it was touch and go all through Tuesday, you awakened yesterday but because of your injuries and meds you have been asleep for much of the day and night."

"What time is it?"

"It's eight at night."

"Was Simmons caught?" she asked, forcing the tiredness to go for the time being. She wanted some answers before she drifted off to sleep again or worse yet when the doctors came back in with more pain meds.

"He was,"

"Was?"

"Detective Fusco arrested him, brought him to the hospital where he was murdered by an unknown assailant. It is likely his murder will go unsolved, it seems finding out who murdered him is not a top priority at the precinct." Finch murmured before standing up, softly patting her hand. "But I must go, you must have sleep to get better. You have a long road to recovery, Jocelyn."

"Promise me something, Finch."

"What is it?"

"John….when he feels good enough, can you bring him here to visit me. I need to see him…"

"Trust me Jocelyn, he wants to see you more than you know. Ms. Shaw and I are keeping him medicated for fear he'll rip his stitches." But before Finch could finish what he was going to say the door to the room opened, and both he and Joss looked. Finch's eyes widened as John stood there, in dress pants, and just a stark white undershirt. His jacket hung on his body, he lost weight from his own ordeal. John's eyes were red-rimmed, his hair uncombed, and his face unshaven.

"Joss," John's voice cracked as he staggered forward.

"Mr. Reese!" Finch's eyes widened as Shaw stood behind John, she gave a chagrined look as she helped John forward keeping a secure hand around John's elbow.

"Don't look at me like that, Finch, Reese was coming here with or without my help so I figured to give him some or he'd pop a stitch again." Shaw admonished. Joss struggled to sit up, but gave up when she couldn't, hating her weakness. Tears blurred her vision of John, he collapsed next to her when Shaw released her firm hold on his elbow.

"Joss," he repeated, touching first her hand then her face. "You're…you're really here."

"I'm really here." She assured reaching up with her one good hand, touching his cheek tenderly as tears slipped down his cheeks. She rubbed a few away with her thumb. They stayed like that for a while, his head bowed, foreheads touching and both silently cried. It took several moments for her to realize that their friends had left, and they were alone in her room. "Stay here with me," she asked, staring at him. He looked like hell, probably similar to her. "Please, John."

He nodded his head, before he stood up slowly, and pushed his jacket from his trim form. She lifted her blanket a little with her good left hand while he toed off his shoes, before he slipped under the blanket beside her. He tugged her into his arms, gently. She eased herself against his side, afraid of hurting him. "Is this side hurt?" she asked as she yawned.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered tucking her into his side. "I don't feel a thing, besides you." His reassurance didn't really reassure her much. But her tired brain and body couldn't think of anything to say back, because she was already drifting back to sleep.

"Stay with me, please." She whispered, not fully sure she got the words out.

"I will you have my word Joss." And Joss sighed contently, because she knew when John said she had his word, she had his word, and she fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Shaw looked in on the pair, it hadn't taken long for either injured friend to fall back to sleep. Nurses entered, then giggled at their sight, and Shaw rolled her eyes as she turned. Finch was glaring at her.<p>

"What?"

"Mr. Reese needed bed rest, not to be out and about, and Jocelyn shouldn't be getting too excited. She's awake but I worry about her, she was seriously shot."

"Finch, he needed to see Carter, and she needed to see him. They are now both relaxed and happy, being together. He was struggling to get out of bed since you left him with me, and short of overdosing him on morphine, I had to help him. I left for two minutes, when I got back he was up, and staggering for his clothes." Shaw said with a shake of her head. "Nothing anyone would say or do would keep Reese from getting to her."

They fell into step side by side as they moved to leave the hospital. There was no point in staying, John wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon, as he was out cold much like Carter was. Finch paused at the clerk to explain the presence of John Warren, before they walked to the elevator.

"Was it necessary to tell them they are a couple?" Shaw wondered.

"Well Ms. Shaw, how else was I to explain the reasoning as to why John climbed into her bed?" Finch asked softly as the elevator doors opened. "Please, first thing tomorrow morning be here to take John back to the safe-house."

"Sure, if we don't have a new number."

"We won't." Finch assured because he had no intention of picking up. He was upset with the machine, he wanted to know why it hadn't warned them sooner to be able to avoid John and Jocelyn from being injured. Shaw didn't say anything, as they exited the elevator. They split apart going their separate ways to their cars, and, Finch was left with his unsettling thoughts about the machine, and the evolving situation between Mr. Reese and Detective Carter. He had listened in on John talking so heartfelt to Jocelyn at the morgue, and he possibly hadn't realized they were still connected probably forgetting, lost in the moment, but Finch was just glad John finally told her. Finch had suspected of John's more than platonic feelings for the detective for quite a while, though he never outright asked his friend if he had romantic feelings for Jocelyn not wanting to embarrass the younger man.

Finch limped outside into the parking lot towards his Lincoln. He just hoped that with Jocelyn being alive and well, John would bounce back from this near tragic end of HR without any more psychological wounds. He determinedly pushed those nagging worries away, determined to be just grateful both his friends were alive and on the road to recovery as he climbed into his car. And with that he turned his car on, pulled out of the parking space, and drove off into the night. 

* * *

><p>AN: This story is crammed full of Careese because well I can't help myself :D They are perfect together! Thanks for reading everyone!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

"Who is he?"

John slowly came too from slumber, as he heard murmuring. He tensed a bit until he realized he recognized one of the voices. The other still sounded unrecognizable. John lifted one eyelid, realizing Taylor stood there, and a man who appeared to look like an older version of Taylor stood beside him.

"Hi Mr. Badass," Taylor greeted with a smile. Both of his eyes opened as he stared at Taylor, before looking down at Joss who was lying contently against his chest, awake. The door to the room opened and two nurses entered.

"Well the cutest couple, are both awake, now." the brunette nurse teased. "How are you feeling, Jocelyn?"

"Content," she answered warmly.

"I bet you are, getting to use this man as a nice teddy bear would make any woman content I suspect." The brunette flirted. "But we need to do an exam, so I'm sorry mister…."

"My name is John." He mumbled as he slowly withdrew from Joss's arms, not realizing when he promised to be there in the morning that he would have Carter's kid, her obvious ex-husband, and nurses to contend with. He slipped from the bed, slowly, as to not rip his stitches open. The elder of the two nurses raked a keen look over him.

"What's the matter with you, young man?"

"I'm fine," he assured, wondering how he was going to get his shoes on without this woman realizing he was lying through his teeth. Gratefully, Taylor hurried around to get his shoes for him. He handed them to him, John smiled in thanks. "Just a bad back." He assured the nurse.

"Uh-huh, you look pale." She said clearly not buying his crap.

"Been worried about Joss and her well-being,"

"Yeah so worried this is the first time I saw you," the nurse argued.

He turned to look back at her. "I'm glad you are alright, Joss." She smiled softly, he turned to exit the room.

"John, wait." He sighed as he turned and looked back at Joss. "When are you coming back?"

"Later," he assured.

"When is _later_?"

"Tonight,"

"Oh, coming for another slumber party huh." The brunette teased. But John didn't bother to answer her, instead he snatched his jacket, turned and fled as fast as his injuries would allow him. He sat down on the chair outside of Carter's room, and unfortunately the nurse that had noticed he was pale had followed him out.

"Just great," he muttered under his breath while he struggled with his shoes, but the nurse squatted down, and helped him get his shoes on.

"Why are men so pigheaded? I could see the way you were favoring the side, you have some sort of injury." She motioned. "I can see the bandages under the shirt." She murmured while tying his shoes.

"I'm okay."

The nurse didn't call him a liar, but arched a brow as she stood up after finishing helping him tie his shoes. He slowly stood up, she lifted his shirt. "I see a bit of crimson staining that bandage."

"It's fine." He repeated adamantly.

"Well, it better be because that girl seems to be doing much better now with you and her son around. We can't have anything happening to something that puts such a pretty smile on that beautiful face of hers. Jocelyn has been through a lot, you hear." The nurse looked like she wanted to force him into an exam room, but, was exercising restraint.

"Just take care of Joss," he reaffirmed as he casually as possible pulled his coat on. And with that he turned, leaving the elderly nurse to watch him leave. John rounded the hallway, grateful, as he slouched against the wall feeling faint.

"You didn't pop a stitch did you?" Shaw questioned as she appeared from nowhere. John didn't bother to look at her, didn't bother to acknowledge her. She pushed his shirt up, glaring at the crimson stain. "Damn it, Reese, Finch is going to have my head."

John let her help him down the hallway to the elevator, as she muttered something under her breath about Captain America wasn't as invincible as he wished. He didn't even bother to explain himself, because it was no point. She hit the button manually stopping the elevator, pushed his shirt up, and slowly began undoing the tape around the bandage.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure if you did pop a stitch, John you can't keep popping stitches, and receiving blood transfusions because you nearly bleed out." Shaw seemed satisfied as she eyed his wound. "It appears just dried blood got imbedded on the bandage. We have to change the dressing when we get back to the safe-house." Shaw replaced the tape back to his skin.

"I'm going home."

"No you're not, Reese. You asked me to take you to Carter, I did because you were going to go with or without me, but it was on the contingency you'd go back to the safe-house." Shaw snapped not letting him back out of his word. She knew he probably didn't fully remember the contingency since he was coming off of his morphine shot, but, she didn't give a damn. She wasn't getting her ass chewed out by Finch for his sorry self. Shaw noted as she hit the elevator's red button that sent the elevator screeching in motion once more that he wasn't looking at her. She noticed as she led him to her car, he avoided looking at the cameras, and he was even more quiet than normal.

"What's the deal?" she demanded as the silence in the car was getting to her. Typically she didn't want conversation, which John seemed to like too. But this was different. This silence was deafening, uncomfortable.

"There's no deal, just drive Shaw." She shifted her eyes off the road for a brief moment, to eye him before looking back. No deal, what was he smoking? He was staring off into the distance, not appearing to be seeing anything as if he was lost in thoughts. From the etched lines on his face they weren't happy thoughts either. But she didn't call him a liar instead she allowed the uncomfortable silence drape over them, because to be honest this was the first time Shaw had no idea what to do. 

* * *

><p>The door to her hospital room opened, Joss immediately felt her spirits lift then sort of drop when it wasn't John. It was Finch instead. "Hey, Finch." She greeted trying to hide her disappointment. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her friend it was just she had been hoping it was John instead.<p>

"Not who you were expecting?" he teased and she realized she hadn't hid her disappointment all that well.

"Well, John was vague on when he was coming back, and every time the door opens I think it might be him." She said as casual as she could. Joss squirmed to sit up, hating that it took all her energy and strength just to move the tiniest bit. Hating that she could barely stay awake more than two hours at a time, mostly she hated being dependent on everyone to do things for her. It annoyed her to no end. "So what pleasure do I owe to have a visit from you, Finch?" She said with a smile, giving up at sitting.

"I came by to see how you are feeling." He said.

"Feeling better for the most part, the tests they ran were to see how much damage the bullet did, but I won't know more for a few more days." She grumbled. It didn't matter what damage that bullet did, she was going to get full use and mobility back in her arm regardless of the time it took to get it back. She wasn't going to let Simmons and HR get the last laugh on her, no way in hell was she going to let that happen. "But I figured you knew that already, Taylor said you're footing the bill for my care, and arranged for the best doctors to be my doctors."

"Yes, well you are a valued friend, Jocelyn, and I want the best possible care for you. No matter the cost."

"Well I thank you for that." She said truly blessed to have someone worry this much about her.

"Actually that brings me to the real reason I came by here, Jocelyn." Finch murmured as he sat down beside her bed.

"I knew it, I just knew there was a different reason." She teased softly. "So Finch what's the real reason you're here?"

"I arranged for you to be transported tomorrow morning to Buffalo New York where you'll stay for a week before you are taken to Rome Italy on a private jet."

"Excuse me,"

"There is a state of the art facility in Buffalo that are all private rooms that are more like suites than hospital rooms, round the clock nurses and doctors for each patient there. Dr. Zynecki is the finest, he is going to take care of you at the facility before you are transported to Italy."

"Okay….why? Why in the hell am I going to Italy?"

"My excellent physical therapist Bernard lives there, I spoke with him on the phone just yesterday, and he has agreed to take you on as a patient. He has been booked up, not taking any new patients but as a favor to me he is more than willing to help you. He's marvelous, if anyone can help you get your mobility back in your arm, it's him."

"He's that good?" she didn't really want to travel so far, but if he was that good maybe it was worth it.

"He's the best." And coming from Finch that meant it was true.

"Alright, I guess, I mean I was hoping to stay in New York to be close to my son." And John, but she didn't say it out loud.

"Well if you wish for him to go with you I am more than willing to offer my villa as a place of refuge for your son to accompany you to Italy. I had arranged for other housing arrangements so you'd be closer to Bernard, but if your son is accompanying you, then the villa would be much homier for you both."

"Seriously? You'd trust me, and my seventeen year old in your villa?"

"Yes, of course, Jocelyn I have no qualms over letting you and him stay at the villa. But if you are worried about his academics, my pilot is able to fly him in and out of Italy every weekend."

"Honestly, Finch I don't know what to say." How did one say thank you, for everything he was doing to help her get better, and make things easier for her and her son? A simple thank you, didn't sound enough.

"You don't have to say anything, Jocelyn, I'm doing this because you are my dear friend and I'm just utterly grateful that you are alive."

"Thank you, Harold, I mean it truly." She whispered, as tears threatened. She never had someone worry about her so much, want to help her. She always had to do everything by herself until she met John and Finch.

"You're welcome, I suggest you speak to your son and find out what he wishes to do and what is best for him, while I'll get the villa ready."

"What do you mean ready?"

"Minor things, Jocelyn, nothing you need to worry about. But please, call me."

"Of course." She agreed. "But can I ask you, why am I being shipped off to Buffalo New York? Why not just stay here, Manhattan General has been taking great care of me."

"They have been," Finch agreed as he slowly stood up. "But it's a known fact that infection happens more often than naught at hospitals. The facility I am arranging for you Jocelyn, gives you private doctors, nurses, and a private suite so your son can stay with you in a separate bedroom if he so chooses. The facility has the lowest infection rate in the entire nation, less than two percent of patients get an infection which is nearly quadrupled if you remain here."

"It sounds like an apartment."

"You can view it that way if you want," he agreed with a smile.

"Sounds really expensive too." She huffed. But her friend just waved her off about the money. He touched her hand softly, before limping towards the door, and Joss watched her friend leave with a smile.

* * *

><p>AN: This is the set up for 3x11 and 3x12. As I know some of you didn't see the show since Carter died, John left the team leaving for Colorado, while in my story John will still leave the team instead of Colorado he's going to try to follow Joss to Buffalo New York instead. Here's a little teaser:<p>

**"John you know you have to stay here in New York, and help Finch with the numbers. Our feelings for one another can't come between that, they need you."**

**"Our feelings won't come between that because I'm done, I quit." What, he was quitting working the numbers?**

John and Joss have a heavy conversation :) Thanks for reading everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This touches remotely on 3x11 and 3x12, but not much. It's more me ab-libbing what would have maybe transpired had she been alive rather than killed off. But in a very Careese-y way that would NOT happen on the show lol. But who can fault me XD 

Happy birthday APFW! I'm sorry the show gave you such a crappy birthday present last year! But since I know it's your birthday today I'm going to spam all my stories with updates just for you! Well all except Entangled II since that will get an update tomorrow :D

* * *

><p>The facility she was staying in Buffalo wasn't just state of the art, it was comfy, and homey. It actually made her feel better. The food was tons better (now that she was allowed solid foods again), the atmosphere just was overall better here than a hospital. Her son accompanied her to Buffalo when she was transported here but had to stay in Manhattan with his dad for school. She, Taylor, and Paul all agreed that it was best for her to go to Italy by herself to get better. Taylor wanted to accompany her there, but both her and Paul wished for him to focus on school since he would be graduating this upcoming year. Finch already arranged for her son to come in on Thanksgiving next week, and Christmas to spend time with her.<p>

She had been transported to Buffalo two days ago, she couldn't take the dependency much more, but unfortunately she was still so weak and tired. John showed up here, yesterday. It was clear he meant to stay with her until she left for Rome, because he had a small duffel bag filled with a few changes of clothing with him.

She watched him. Joss was tired of the run around she was getting from him. Something was definitely up, something he wasn't ready to talk about, and it gnawing at her. The last few hours she had been stewing on the way to approach him. Joss softly linked their fingers together she drew in his strength, his warmth. Joss shifted a bit which earned her a gruff sound from John before he gently withdrew his hand to fluff her pillows for her.

"John, relax, I can move." She chided.

He didn't bother to respond, just contently continued to fluff and try to make her comfortable. She eyed him, glad to see some color back in his cheeks. He was forgetting the fact that he had been shot too. He had nearly died thanks to Simmons too. She just thanked god that not only she survived, but so did he. Losing John wasn't an option, just as much as losing her wasn't an option for him.

"Not that I'm complaining about having you fluff my pillows, fetch me water, and overall take care of me to the point of hovering….BUT why are you? I have doctors and nurses for that, don't you have those numbers to work from your super computer?" Joss asked, curious. John had been evading question after question about Harold, Shaw, and why he was with her rather than helping their friends. His rough sigh told her he was uninterested in answering her question this time too.

"I'm going to make you some soup, Joss." He slowly stood up from the chair, clearly making a hasty retreat rather than explain just what exactly was going on. She reached out, moaning slightly at the pain, but snatched his hand with her only good one. "Joss, you are going to pop a stitch!" he fussed.

"Then stop running away from this, and talk to me. Every single time I ask you about our friends, or ask about those people we saved, or about why you're not there you get all secretive and run away. No more of that, please, I can see something is bothering you. Talk to me." She ordered softly. She couldn't do squat, at least helping John with some obvious emotional issues would make her feel slightly better at the lack of doing anything else. When he just quietly stood beside her bed, appearing like he was still contemplating bolting, she continued. "What did you have to do to get Shaw to let you come with me?" she asked going for a teasing remark, maybe she'll get somewhere quicker with him.

"Nothing I didn't ask to leave, I just left." He tugged his hand free, clearly thinking the discussion was over. "Now I'm getting you that soup. Stay put, Joss." It was his turn to order her, before he disappeared right before her eyes.

Something was definitely wrong, she could hear it and see it in John's voice and eyes respectively. He was upset by something. What, she wasn't quite sure, but she was damned well going to find out. He was just lucky he could keep on escaping from her because she had no energy, strength, and physically couldn't go after him. But that wouldn't be that way for long, because Finch was sending her to his preferred physical therapist one that helped him so much. And one she was heading to see in a few days.

John had mentioned he was coming with her to Italy. She at first thought it was great, John helping her recover, and they could then discuss some things like what happened at the morgue. But now she wasn't so sure that it was great. It seemed to her John was running not only from their conversation about what was bothering him, but, seemed to be running from their friends as well. Which was not him at all, he valued Finch, valued his friendship, and the job he had been given.

Joss cursed her unmoving arm, while using her good left one, and picked up her cell. John would be busy making her soup from scrap which was delicious but time consuming. The man was an amazing cook. She was going to get spoiled at having John cook meals for her that when she was better, she was going to want it all the time. She quietly clicked Shaw's name, determined to get to the bottom of this. She could call Finch but she had been told previous times that he was a very private person, so getting him to tell her about what was bothering John wasn't going to happen. But Shaw seemed to enjoy annoying John, so maybe she'd oust what was going on that she didn't know thanks to being in a coma and nearly dying.

She waited and waited, but got no answer and that wasn't like Shaw, she always answered. She blinked when she heard John's voice. "Do you want chicken noodle or….what are you doing?" he demanded as she wiggled over a bit to replace her phone back on the table beside her. She couldn't help but think him cute as his hands were on his hips; a dark glare aimed her way, and looking devastatingly handsome sans 'man-in-the-suit' attire. He should go with the jeans/black button down shirt more often, along with the au-naturale look he was sporting for his brutally cropped short salt n' pepper hair. Scruffy and angry John was sexy as hell. "I thought I told you, if you wanted to call Taylor, I'd grab the phone for you!"

"You did but I didn't call Taylor, I called Shaw." She said pointing out the clear loop-hole in his statement. "So I didn't disobey anything."

"Carter…." She rolled her eyes at his exasperated tone. He was worse than her doctors and nurses.

"What, you keep running away from my questions so I figured to call someone who might give me the scoop on what's going on that I missed but she didn't answer the phone."

"Nothing, it doesn't matter anymore. You're alive."

"Stop it, John, stop treating me stupid!" She snapped, getting angry.

"I'm not."

"The hell you aren't! I know something is bothering you, something you won't tell me. Why? Tell me right now, right this second what the hell is going on with you. You refuse to talk about our friends, and when you do you sound angry. What happened?"

But before he could say anything her cell rang. She glared at the thing for interrupting, but, she had to see if it was her son. John grabbed it for her, handing it to her. She sighed seeing it was Fusco. "Hi," she greeted irritably, raking John with a hard look.

"Well hello to you too, Ms. Sunshine."

"Sorry, but John and I are having a bit of a disagreement."

"What else is new, but, he's the reason I'm calling. Can you put him on?"

"Sure," she agreed, before she pulled the phone back, and put it on speakerphone. "He's right here, Fusco." She wasn't going to be left out of the loop on this.

"Wonder boy, glasses and Lady Insane need your help."

"Not interested." John said and Joss stared at him in shock. She furrowed her brows as she stared at him intently, what the hell was going on? "They'll be fine without me."

"I don't think they are, Reese. I haven't heard from glasses since yesterday, that's not like him. I think they are in trouble."

The slow bob of John's Adams Apple was the only telling mark he gave away that he was upset, because his face gave nothing away. He didn't say anything, his fists balled up. "I'm on my way," he said quietly after several tense moments.

"Good, meet me at the precinct." Fusco instructed before he hung up the phone.

"Joss listen to the doctors, I'll be back when I can."

"Good and when you get your ass back here, we are going to talk about whatever you're hiding from me." She declared. John would never have refused to go help their friends, he would never had said they'd be fine without him. He would never sit out a number. Something was upsetting him and she was going to damn well find out.

John didn't say anything to her back, but rather, just turned and exited the room leaving her to stew. And Joss thought long into the night about what was going on.

* * *

><p>John drove his way back to Buffalo the next afternoon, arriving at the facility Joss was staying at later in the evening. He had only gone back to help Finch, Shaw, and their number Arthur Claypool get out of the bank safely. They had told him about Root escaping from the locked cage, told him that a second machine had been made, and was missing. But none of it mattered, the only thing that mattered was being with Joss. He saved Finch because he was someone the world couldn't lose, and for that he went back to help.<p>

John cut the engine, slowly exiting his car, and moved quickly to the building. He found Joss's suite, quickly entering. He smiled when he found her asleep in bed. This place Finch sent her was nice, he stayed with her in the guest room, and the nurses and doctors were good. They were hard-asses on Carter which she needed because of that damn stubborn streak of hers. Tomorrow evening they would be flying to Rome to get her underway on her physical rehab. He brushed her hair back behind her ear. "John," she whispered as her eyes opened after a moment.

"Hey,"

"Are our friends okay?" concern lacing her soft honeyed voice.

"Yeah they're okay now." He reassured. She smiled a little before yawning heavily. She attempted to sit up, struggling, so he tried to help her. She snarled at him, pushing his hand away clearly wanting to do it herself. "I'm not helpless."

"No, you're not, but I want to help."

"And I want the truth, but we don't always get what we want do we John." She jabbed. "You are keeping something from me."

"It's nothing, you are worried about nothing."

"I am worried. Because you told Fusco you weren't interested in helping our friends. That's not like you, John, not at all. And I have been thinking, wondering, questioning, and generally driving myself insane since you left yesterday morning trying to figure out what's going on. The only thing I have come up with is you're mad about what happened to me."

"I am upset about what happened to you." He agreed.

"So tell me, maybe talking about what is upsetting you will make you feel better. Because I'm pretty angry about what happened to me too, I hate what happened to me. I hate that I might not be able to be a cop that my only hope is that this Bernard is as good as Finch claims. I hate that Simmons shot you, I hate that he's dead, and I can't get any satisfaction of seeing him rot in prison. I hate it all. I am so pissed at the fact that I lost days of my life, I have no idea what happened during that time, and I am pissed at you for hiding what you are going through from me!"

"Joss you need to relax, your blood pressure must be sky high."

"You can leave now, John." She snapped. "I don't need you here if you are just going to hide things from me and upset me further. I want to get better not angrier."

"Joss, that's not my intention."

"So what is your intention, hide out with me, so you don't have to face whatever is upsetting you?"

"No, I want to be by you."

"Why? Why do you have to be by me?" she questioned. When no answer was forthcoming, she exhaled roughly. "Go," she turned to look away from him. She felt the bed dip, feeling his body against her hip, and he touched her chin with his fingers forcing her to look at him. Their gazes connected, oxygen seeped out her lungs, as they stared at one another intently. "John," she whispered as his eyes dropped to peer at her lips.

"Joss," he sighed before his mouth inched its way towards her. She lifted up, meeting him halfway, and they both sharply inhaled as their mouths connected. His lips were gentle, warm, and soft to the touch. His hands resided in her hair, her good hand rested on his stumble roughened jaw. He pulled his lips free, just to retake hers, deepening the kiss. Damn, he was a good kisser, almost making her forget she was mad at him. Almost. Her hand slid from his cheek, sliding to cup the back of his neck, her fingertips gently sifting through his soft hair there.

She was annoyed when his tongue didn't come out to play, she could feel him holding back, and she didn't want that. Joss wanted to feel him. She tried to coax his lips apart, by taking control of the kiss. She slid her tongue across the seam of his lips. He moaned something, as his lips parted, and she sunk her tongue into his mouth. She couldn't believe John was giving her the control of the kiss, but, she was happy he was. Her tongue slid across his, moaning, at the taste of his mouth. It was heaven.

John was a very eager participant, his tongue actively followed hers, chasing hers back into her mouth. She gasped a little as he licked the roof of her mouth. John tore his lips from hers, staring down at her. "I'm sorry, Joss I can't help but want you." He admitted.

"I'm not. It's been much too long since I have been kissed that well, if ever." She muttered. "So uh, is that the reason you have to be by me then?" she questioned. He gave her a small but charming smile.

"Joss, I want to be by you because you are my friend, and I want to be there for you." He sat back.

"Oh I see, we are friends, huh." She teased. "I better warn Fusco, that he's going to have your tongue down his throat at some point." He snorted with laughter.

"Joss…I have more than friendly feelings for you, but, you aren't anywhere near ready for anything to happen. So as of right now, you are just my friend."

"So, in the future we will be something more than that?" she pressed on.

"If you want us to be,"

"That's not an answer, John."

"It's the best answer I can give, you know how I feel about you."

"Yeah, you enlightened me a little at the morgue, who knew that a morgue could be romantic." She said with a small grin. "But you really enlightened me just now, when did you learn how to kiss like that?" she teased, loving the redness that started to tinge his ears. He cleared his throat. Joss squashed the urge to tease him further, instead she grew serious once more. She wasn't ready to let him off the hook, even if he kissed amazing. "John you know you have to stay here in New York, and help Finch with the numbers. Our feelings for one another can't come between that, they need you."

"Our feelings won't come between that because I'm done, I quit." What, he was quitting working the numbers?

"No you don't." she shook her head. "You're not quitting because of what happened that night with Simmons. It wasn't Finch's fault."

"You're right it's not. It's the machine's, it didn't warn us in time. It didn't give us a chance to know Simmons was lurking around, had it, you wouldn't have almost died." John said his eyes not meeting hers any longer. She wondered if she was finally getting to what was bothering him. He was angry at this machine, he viewed the lack of warning as a betrayal.

"John I'm here though." She gently reminded.

"What if you weren't?" he snapped. "I don't think it cares who lives or dies, I don't think it cares you're someone the world can't afford to lose is."

Joss eyed him, choosing her words carefully, because she didn't want him shutting her out. "John, are you sure I'm someone the world can't afford to lose? Or is it more I'm someone _you_ can't afford to lose?"

He gave her a warning look, before he responded. "It gave my number, Joss, but didn't warn us in time so you wouldn't get hurt! I'm not worth the ground we walk on and yet it chose to help me!" Joss felt pain inside her at his words. John didn't believe he was good enough to save, he never believed in his worth.

"John you're upset, you have been through a lot recently. So have I, but running away from our friends isn't the way to handle it. I'm going to Rome and you can't come with me." She said firmly.

"Why not? I can help with your recovery."

"John, I appreciate you wanting to help me. But you are not a trained physical therapist like this Bernard is. He'll get me back to what I love doing, being a cop. They are about seventy percent sure I will get full mobility in my arm back. But I have to work on it, have months of rehab to do to get that. Months, John, our friends need you now not months from now."

"I went and helped Finch and Shaw because Finch is someone the world can't afford to lose, just like you. But I'm done." Again there it was, he kept saying the world couldn't afford to lose, when she suspected it was more about him not being able to handle it if he lost either her or Finch.

"Stop running John."

"I'm not."

"You have been running away from this since I awakened. You won't tell me anything that is going on, now that I finally do know some of it, you tell me you are through with helping the numbers. You're a good man John, you have helped Finch, risking your life many times since I've known you, and now you're just giving up. That's not you, you don't ever give up. It's not in your nature."

"I'm not giving up, Joss, I'm just realized the simple truth of it all."

"What?" she demanded wanting a clear understanding of where he was coming from. Because from all she saw so far was John's pain and anger was making him choose the same self-destructive path as he did in the past.

"That what we are doing is just denying the inevitable."

"Excuse me?"

"The machine gives us the numbers we go out try to stop bad things from happening. But they don't stop. We save their life for a day later, maybe a month or even a year, but eventually it catches up."

"You can't possibly believe that, John, you can't believe that you haven't helped people. I have seen it firsthand, and if you think otherwise, you are just fooling yourself."

"No, Joss, you are fooling yourself into believing what we are doing is helping people."

"Okay smart guy what about me, huh, what about when my C.I. shot me? Had you not called and warned me that I was in danger I wouldn't have worn that vest, I'd be dead already." She countered. "You, Finch, and your source your super computer, saved my life." She snarled angrily, hating he was trying to diminish all his good deeds, because of some deep seeded pain he wouldn't let anyone help him with.

"Only for you to get shot and almost killed by Simmons!" he exploded as he stood up. Joss didn't react to the angry display. "And it did _nothing_ to save you." He hissed venomously. John's blue eyes were glacial, his tone lacked warmth, and his entire body was tense. John was a quiet man so for him to explode at her, louder in tone, was unusual. She wondered if it wasn't the despair she could easily read in his eyes that was making him react this way. John felt like he lost his purpose, he was disillusioned with the job Finch had gotten him, and right now nothing anyone said was getting through to him.

"I don't want to argue, John." She decided to change tactics, sensing he wasn't ready to give up his anger at this machine. Maybe if she could get him to somehow tell her about his pain of that day, of her getting shot, maybe it would make him less angry about what happened. It would be therapeutic to her too. Joss had a certain amount of anger of that night herself. Not at this machine, all her anger was pointed directly at Simmons, and what he nearly took from her. Namely her life, her career, and John. He shot John right before her eyes, nearly killing the man she loved. Joss eyed him who was avoiding her gaze. She could admit it to herself. She loved John so much. She wasn't ready to tell him, but admitting it to herself, was enough to make her breathe a bit easier around him.

"I don't want to argue either, Joss."

"Come here, please." She demanded softly. He walked to her, sat down on the bed beside her, and she scooted over as best as she could. "Hold me, I'm sleepy, and I sleep better in your arms." John laughed a little as he leaned back into her pillows allowing her to cuddle close.

"I'm going with you." He whispered as he rubbed her arm softly, she laid her head on his strong chest. She refused to argue, letting him speak. She had no intentions of letting him go with her to Rome, effectively running away from his friends.

"Alright, but you need to speak to Finch tell him in person that you are through with helping the numbers."

"Joss…."

"No, you have to do that. It's only right to tell Finch you are quitting and leaving. You owe him that much, he's your friend." She stipulated.

"….Alright, Joss, I'll meet with Finch in the morning."

"Thank you John."

"Go to sleep Joss." He rubbed her arm gently. Joss snuggled into him, deciding while he was gone and speaking to Finch, she was going to call Finch's pilot and arrange for her to leave for Rome earlier so John couldn't come with her. She was going to force John to confront his pain head on, it was the only way for John to ever truly get over what was hurting him internally. Once she had a plan decided on, she fell asleep promptly in his arms. 

* * *

><p>AN: John has met his match in Joss Carter, she won't put up with his crap of trying to run away from his friends and his issues. Nope, not our girl, she's going to force him to confront it or else XD Here's the teaser:<p>

**"I'm going to strangle you for this when I get to Rome." He said as he stormed to his car, she laughed, and the sound was so warm he closed his eyes loving it, loving how peaceful it made him feel. He almost lost that sound. He almost lost her he felt a tremble pass through him, as he reopened his eyes. He hardened as he eyed the camera, it almost made him lose her.**

**"I'm sure you want to put your hands on me, but not to strangle me, John, and I can't wait." He clutched the phone tightly when she purred softly realizing she was flirting with him!**

Uh-oh, Joss went ahead with her plan which won't sit right with John! Thanks for reading my loves!


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: Okay this is the last of the stories I can update, so I hope you have a really amazing birthday ReadtoRelax! And this chapter touches briefly on 4C it actually more alludes to the events of that episode without actually going on the plane. **_

* * *

><p>John arrived at the library, early in the morning, carrying his coffee. He felt a certain amount of nerves. He didn't want to upset Finch but he couldn't work the numbers anymore. He didn't believe in the machine any longer. It hadn't done anything to save Joss. It let her get shot, it almost let her die. He entered the library walking up the spiral staircase, before walking down the long corridor. Finch was slouched in his chair, holding what appeared to be Root's ankle bracelet. His eyes lifted, watching him.<p>

"Ms. Groves picked the locks on the gate, disabled the ankle bracelet's sensors. I suppose the machine told her where I hid them." Finch murmured as he slowly rose up from his seat. John clenched his teeth together. Of course the machine had told Root how to escape the cage, but didn't tell them Simmons was lurking close by. "Welcome home," that got his attention.

"I'm not staying, I came back to protect you. You're someone the world can't afford to lose. But I almost lost Carter because of your machine." John tried to keep from being accusatory. "We trusted blindly, I'm not so sure it cares who matters and who doesn't. I came to say goodbye, Finch." He looked at him. He could see the pain, sadness on his friend's face. But he couldn't help it. Finch had Shaw now and Shaw would protect him. John couldn't continue to work for the machine, he didn't trust it or like it.

"John….you can't go."

"I can't stay here." He shook his head. Once Joss came back from Rome he would too, but, he wouldn't come back to help with the numbers. "Joss said I owed it to you to our friendship to tell you in person that I was quitting. And she was right, so I have, now I'm going with her to Rome."

"….John, my pilot had been contacted early this morning, and she's already on her way to Rome as we speak."

"What?!"

"I thought you knew."

John turned and hurried out of the library, immediately calling her. She answered on the third ring. "That was why you wanted me to go tell Finch in person that I was quitting, so you could leave while I was gone!" he growled in anger.

"Yes," she said it simply. "John, you need to deal with your anger, and running away from New York, your friends, and your purpose isn't the way to deal with it."

"I'm going to Rome with you, I'm going to get the next commercial flight out." He stated.

"Go ahead," she assured. "But that won't be for at least a couple days and maybe by then you can realize just how stubborn you are being! Your friends need you, and you need them."

"I need you."

"And we'll talk more about where we go with our relationship when I get back."

"I'm going to strangle you for this when I get to Rome." He said as he stormed to his car, she laughed, and the sound was so warm he closed his eyes loving it, loving how peaceful it made him feel. He almost lost that sound. He almost lost her he felt a tremble pass through him, as he reopened his eyes. He hardened as he eyed the camera, it almost made him lose her.

"I'm sure you want to put your hands on me, but not to strangle me, John, and I can't wait." He clutched the phone tightly when she purred softly realizing she was flirting with him! "Not that I am complaining, mind you, but I sort of want to be able to use my right hand to touch too. So no funny business until I'm better, unfortunately."

"Joss," he exhaled roughly. She was his heaven and his hell. "I'll be there with you in Rome soon enough." She didn't say anything, they hung up, and he sped up quicker to head to his place and purchase a one-way ticket to Rome online quickly. 

* * *

><p>Joss refused to feel bad for tricking and getting rid of John. But the man took thick-headedness to an extreme. She was sure if John had to help their friends with another number that quite possible his anger at the machine might get a little bit more manageable. She wasn't sure if it would get better, but, he might not want to try to flee from his purpose and friends if he was forced in their proximity.<p>

She had arrived in Rome yesterday, met with Bernard this morning, and he was already working on a regiment for her. Joss was grateful he was going to get started on her rehab that quickly. The apartment Finch set up for her was amazing with the sights, and it had home equipment which meant Bernard was coming over to her place to rehab her. Joss had to say she liked that idea better because she didn't know anyone and driving in a foreign country held little appeal to her. She was a little lonely without her son or John around, John hadn't called her since yesterday to tell her he gotten a commercial flight out to Rome today. She had no idea where he was, he had said his flight was to leave at 8 A.M., and it was already past ten hours. She did the mental math, it should take about nine hours to get here, unless of course there was a delay in his start time.

Her cell rang. She grabbed it, frowning when she saw it was Shaw and not John. "Hey," she greeted trying to enforce a level of happiness that she called. She was not disappointed that it wasn't John, or at least that was the lie she told herself.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that your boyfriend is working a new number."

"He is." Joss couldn't help the excited tone. That was good, John was working a case, it would be good for his psychological pain he was dealing with since her shooting.

"Reluctantly,"

"What does that mean, reluctantly?" she demanded.

"The machine hijacked him."

"What?!" Okay that is not what she had been hoping. "Can it even do that?"

"It's an A.I. Carter so yeah it can. The machine overbooked your boyfriend's flight plan forcing him onto a different plane to Rome that has a relevant number on board." Joss was confused. She didn't know what that meant, relevant number, but whatever it was she was going to find out. She suspected it was how they got their cases they worked. "But Reese is trying to save 130 people that are on that plane that were irrelevant along with the relevant number."

"Okay…." She wasn't going to panic. There was that many people that was in danger, which meant John was one of them.

"I'm about to go meet my former friend to see if I can learn why Owen is relevant to national security. I thought you'd want to know where your boyfriend was."

"Thanks, and one thing Shaw."

"What?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

Shaw snorted. "Yet," and with that Shaw hung up on her. She sighed, hoping John was alright since he was on a plane alone with a number, and had nowhere to go. 

* * *

><p>John was irritable. It had been a long flight, he had figured they were going to die, but Finch had come through for him. Finch had landed the plane while he fought in the cockpit with the would-be killer. He sent Owen off to get a new identity, saved the innocent 130 men and women that would have died for no other reason than for being there. The nice flight attendant; Holly, asked him for drinks, but he had declined. There was only one woman for him, and she was at an apartment that Finch had set up. He wanted to see her, but his eyes strayed to the small outdoor restaurant down the street a little from him. He had gone to a nice café to drink some much needed coffee. It had been a long and dangerous flight to Rome.<p>

John slowly walked his way over to where he clearly could see Finch sitting with a newspaper trying to appear like he wasn't sitting there because he had followed him. John regretted some of the things he said to Finch during his ordeal on the plane. It wasn't Finch's fault for what almost had happened to Joss, his anger spilled over onto him, and he regretted that. John just didn't know how to process his anger at the machine, and unfortunately he had lashed out at the man that built it which so happened to be his friend.

He sat down across from his friend eyeing him as he continued to peruse the paper. "You tracked me down." He stated.

"Just flew in to get Owen situated with a new identity and destination, then I was going to make sure Joss was settled." Finch spoke quietly not looking away from the paper.

"Is that it?" John wondered slightly. He tracked him down to this café but he wasn't here to speak with him? That didn't exactly sound like Finch.

Finch finally dropped the act of pretending to read the newspaper. He had wanted to talk to John about this for a while but John hadn't been willing to hear him. Finch wanted John to understand why he built the machine the way he had. "Mr. Reese I understand your frustration with the opacity of the machine, but there is a reason I chose to make it that way. The machine only gives us numbers because I would always rather that a human element remains in determining something so critical as someone's fate." He paused and John nodded a little. "I know we almost lost her, John, I know you care a great deal about her, and for that I am deeply regretful that it hadn't contacted us sooner."

John swallowed hard, he felt a lump forming that was stealing his breath. He had almost lost her but as Joss continuously reminded him that she was alive. And that had been just her sheer will to live. He never met anyone like Joss, she was full of life, and she had stubbornly forced him to deal with what was bothering him. John wasn't so sure if he trusted in the machine any longer, but, he did trust this man before him and he would help work the numbers because they were people. Saving those people on the plane those people like Holly who were just innocent in it all, reminded him why he started doing this in the first place. To help people. He had forgotten it, because he had allowed his grief over what almost happened to Joss blind him.

"When are you leaving?" John asked softly.

"Soon, I thought I'd go see this exhibit of an artist Grace was very fond of you are more than welcome to join me." Finch offered before looking him in the eyes. John could see the clear hopeful look on the elder man's face. He was looking for forgiveness that he didn't need. None of it was Finch's fault, he wished for the life of him that he hadn't made Finch feel like it was.

"I'm not sure that I can." He murmured and John watched as Finch's face fell. "While I'm in Italy I figured I'd get fitted for a new suit after I saw Joss." John said hoping to show the other man without saying the words that there was no need to seek forgiveness for something he did not do. He waited only a few seconds before Finch looked up to eye him as a slow but surprised smile graced Finch's face.

"Of course, we should call Gianni he's the best."

"I thought I could hitch a ride with you. I'm not quite ready to fly commercial yet, so…but, I need to get back to work."

"Certainly, Mr. Reese, I know the pilot I think we could delay that flight." Finch agreed as he stood up, John followed, and they slowly walked away from the outdoor restaurant. "Does Jocelyn know you won't be staying in Rome, or agreeing to come back to work with me and Ms. Shaw again a spur of the moment decision?"

"Joss wanted me to continue my work with you as it was, she didn't want me to follow her to Rome in the first place. But I have to tell her I'll be leaving with you."

"Of course, I'll get an appointment with Gianni while you speak with Jocelyn."

"Thanks Finch,"

"Anything, Mr. Reese, anything." He promised. John nodded. "I'll come to the detective's apartment to pick you up, John, say about an hour?"

"That's fine." He agreed. They broke apart he climbed in one taxi while Finch took his own. John gave the taxi driver Joss's address, watching the scenery as the man drove, thinking. Joss would be happy that he decided to go home and help with the numbers. He arrived at Carter's place, she was just on the outskirts of Rome. He exited the taxi, moved to the small building, and knocked. The wooden door opened, and she was there.

"John," she smiled.

"Joss," he touched her, just making sure she was still with him. She used her good arm to wrap around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her. "How are you?" he murmured into her hair.

"I'm okay, can't wait to get started on my long road of physical therapy. How about you, Shaw called me up telling me that you were hijacked by that super computer and forced to work a case." She pushed back to eye him. "What happened?"

"Nothing, everyone is safe."

"Thanks to you." She smiled.

"More like Finch."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"Never mind, I won't be staying for long, you're right I was trying to run away from what happened. I was so upset and angry about almost losing you, that I was taking it out on Finch. Finch wasn't who I was really mad at, he was just the person who I could lash out at. A computer isn't so easy to lash out at as a human is." John laughed humorlessly. "I treated him badly, treated him as if he was the one that failed me, and he didn't."

"Oh John, he doesn't hold it against you, and he knows that you don't really blame him. He knows you were upset." She brushed her fingers against his soft cheek, seeing the regret in his eyes. Pain was still there, but at least now he'll get back in the flow, working the cases with his friends. "When are you leaving?"

"Soon, later today sometime."

"Oh," she said trying to hide her disappointment.

"Joss, say the words and I'll stay. I won't go."

"No, it's probably for the best that you aren't here with me. It will make me work harder to get back to you and my son quicker, if I'm here by myself."

"Why?"

"Because I'll be missing you both like crazy that I'll push myself to get better quicker and harder than I would if you both were here with me coddling me."

"Us, coddle, I don't think so." John teased. "You'll call me, right."

"Of course I will John,"

"You'll come back, right?" he whispered looking away. Joss stared at him. He was afraid she would vanish from his life? "I thought you were going to die on that damned sidewalk in my arms, Joss." His choked words betrayed him. Joss watched as a tear fell down, he lifted a hand to rub at his cheek. "You were telling me things that scared me, made me doubt that you would make it, and I tried to remain positive that you were going to make it. I held onto you as you lost consciousness, I thought you were gone….I thought…I never get to talk to you again." And there it was. The reason behind his pain, John had thought she was going to die, and he would lose her. The reason he was angry at the machine, at the world, because he almost lost her. Had to helplessly watch.

"Of course I'll be coming back, John." She touched his cheek, forcing his gaze onto hers. "We have this thing between us to figure out, plus someone has to make sure you don't do anything crazy." He smiled a little. "Now come on in, please, I want to kiss you but I don't want to do it while everyone can see us. Call me crazy but I like my privacy." She grabbed his hand with her good one, tugging on it softly. He allowed her to tug him inside. 

* * *

><p>AN: I always thought John's anger towards Harold was unfounded it wasn't Harold's fault and the only thing I could come up with why he would lash out the way he had at Harold was because the machine was just that a machine an A.I. who he would have to yell at cameras, while Finch was flesh and blood in front of him. While it was wrong it was the only thing I could imagine is why John would lash out at Harold in the way he had. So that was just me trying to make some of the issues the show made work. Next chapter there is a time jump because if the show had done this I bet we wouldn't have seen much of Carter where they would sort of give us maybe one or two glimpses of her while she was doing her training, so they could set up the Samaritan storyline. Had they done that I would have griped but I could handle it since at least she'd still be on the show lol. Sigh...only in my imagination does it happen. Anyways I'll shut up and give a teaser:<p>

**John eyed his phone, wondering when Joss would text him back. They had been in constant communication since he left her in Rome nearly three months ago. Things with Vigilance and Decima was heating up, Decima stole the chip, and Vigilance just got the government program called 'Northern Lights' shut down. He and Shaw had lost a number the other day before they were sent to that god awful high school reunion, while Fusco and Finch went to D.C. He just wanted to talk to her. He texted 'where are you' and nearly walked into someone. "Excuse me," he mumbled as he didn't look up, walking to the side trying to walk by the person, but they stepped in front of him once more.**

**He glanced up. "Hi John," he blinked when Joss stood in front of him in her black leather jacket, and tight jeans on.**

I gave a big teaser since the next chapter is somewhat long so I could XD Again thanks for reading, I hope everyone can sort of enjoy my rough revision of season 3 just because I was sad at what the show did lol. I'm so sad aren't I :/


	6. Chapter 6

_**AN: I hope everyone had wonderful holidays, I want to apologize for being absent but I was so busy with preparing for the holidays that they went by like in a blur, and now I can breathe. And post :D**_

_**I want to apologize to anyone that reviewed for the last chapter I have no idea if I responded to them or not :( I was so scatterbrained since December hit, so I want to thank you all that reviewed last chapter, and I promise to not drop the ball this time around just in case I did. I can't remember and if I can't remember that tells me I owe apologies!**_

_**This chapter touches just before 3x20 but after 3x19 it's basically a filler chapter for me, and before I forget to warn you guys...this chapter has a smut alert :D**_

* * *

><p>John eyed his phone, wondering when Joss would text him back. They had been in constant communication since he left her in Rome nearly three months ago. Things with Vigilance and Decima was heating up, Decima stole the chip, and Vigilance just got the government program called 'Northern Lights' shut down. He and Shaw had lost a number the other day before they were sent to that god awful high school reunion, while Fusco and Finch went to D.C. He just wanted to talk to her. He texted 'where are you' and nearly walked into someone. "Excuse me," he mumbled as he didn't look up, walking to the side trying to walk by the person, but they stepped in front of him once more.<p>

He glanced up. "Hi John," he blinked when Joss stood in front of him in her black leather jacket, and tight jeans on.

"Joss, you're back?!"

"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you." She grinned and she let out a startled sound when he kissed her. God, he had too. He had dreamt of her being home for so long, missed her so much. He cupped her face with his hands, not feeling her hands in his hair. Passer-bys were either giving them disgusted looks or they were given whistles. Joss pushed on his shoulders. He broke the kiss, to grab her right arm.

"How is it?" he demanded as he rubbed it with his hands as if trying to warm it up. He was cute with the beanie on his head. It was cold for early March.

"It's in working condition, though there is still some weakness. Bernard thinks that given time the weakness will fade, he has given me a home program. But I got 99% of my mobility back. I'm to meet with the precinct tomorrow and find out when I can get back to work." She felt elated to be back in the states again, be near John and her son again. She had gone to see her boy, she never been hugged so hard before. Who knew she'd get the stuffing kissed out of her by John the moment he realized she was back. She should surprise him more often.

"Aren't you moving too fast, Joss?"

"John I've been out of work since mid-November, it's already early March, it's closing in on four months. I think it's moving at a snail's pace."

"Only if you think you're ready."

"I am John, I'm better. Bernard said the little home program will get rid of that weakness, he wouldn't have let me come home if he didn't think I was better. And for my first night home, I want us to go to dinner, John."

"What about your son?"

"What about him? I already went to see him, we are going out to lunch in a half hour, so dinner is free. Please John, tell me that you can have dinner with me."

"Of course I can, I just don't want to get in the way of you and your son."

"You're not. He's already got a previous engagement anyway."

"Oh? Something he can't rearrange for his mother being back home?"

"He plays basketball, loves it too, and he's got an away game. I wanted to go, but, he said that he didn't want me traveling too much for me to catch a cold after I just got better." She waved the rest off. "My boy is a worrier like you and Finch. But I had to agree not to come or he'd be mad at me." She smiled. "So I'm all yours for the night, John."

"Joss..."

"How about you pick me up at my place at 7, I'll choose the restaurant."

"Okay," he mumbled.

"God, you're cute," she sighed, kissing his cheek before stepping back. "I have to hurry to make sure I'm not late for that lunch date or my son will have my ass. See you later, John." She waved as she walked away without turning around.

He waved back, she turned and he sighed. "I'm in trouble," he muttered to himself as he whirled around to walk in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>"They got lucky."<p>

"No, Joss, they owned them," John countered while they sat together at a quiet restaurant, arguing about the Superbowl no less. "I thought you said you watched the game."

"I did thank you very much, and the Seahawks did not own them! They got lucky, that Denver's D didn't show up," Joss argued.

"Denver didn't have any defense," he pointed out as he sat back, throwing his napkin onto the table. They had a pleasurable dinner, eating and enjoying one another's company. She had noticed something was up with him early on. He had been upset by something. She was sure she was missing a lot of what has gone on since she left for Rome. But she was sure he would fill her in. Joss had concentrated on making John smile, and she had achieved her goal a few times. She found out he was a Seahawks fan and decided to purposely press his buttons. "Seahawks won by a landslide," he added on.

"It was not a landslide John. If your Seahawks had faced off against my boys, the Patriots, it would have been a totally different game anyway."

"You're a Patriots fan?" He grabbed his heart.

"I'm just saying the outcome of the Superbowl might have been a little different. Like the Seahawks went home the losers."

"You're just saying this to get at me."

"Damn straight, it's fun pushing your buttons, John," she readily agreed. But she sort of wanted to press his buttons a different way. She leaned forward. "How about we further our night back at my place? We can have some wine, some dessert," she suggested. She watched his blue eyes darken a bit.

"I don't think that's a very good idea, Joss."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Joss laid her hand on his. "I do know why, which is why I think it's a very good idea, John." She threw caution to the wind. "We have been waiting forever."

He laughed a little. "We have not been waiting forever, Joss."

"Okay it feels like forever," she huffed as she crossed her arms across her chest. "It's not like you can't claim you haven't thought about it, about what it would be like being with me."

"Of course I have thought about you, about us in that way. But, I'm not sure if we should go down that route. Not right now."

"Why not?"

"You have been in Rome for months, Joss; there are things that are happening right now that could end badly."

"Fine, we can go to my place and discuss why we can't take our relationship to the next level."

"If we go to your apartment we'll end up having sex."

"Sounds perfect to me, where's the drawback?" she teased, earning her a look. She held up her hands. "I can wait as long as necessary, John, can you?" she challenged, knowing he never backed down from a challenge.

He eyed her. "We'll go back to your place and talk about why we can't let anything happen yet," he agreed and she stared at him. She slowly smiled; he wasn't saying no to them taking their relationship to the next level, he was just saying 'not yet'.

* * *

><p>Joss poured them some wine, before handing him a glass and sitting back with her glass in hand. "I can't drink too much; Shaw and I have to go meet with some drug dealers we have to save from one another tomorrow morning."<p>

"New number?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Finch?"

"He's in D.C.; things are happening, Joss."

"What things?"

"Have you watched any world news recently?"

"Not much." she admitted.

"Well a system called Northern Lights was ousted."

"Oh, now that I saw; I'm guessing that's the machine."

"It is. Vigilance is the one that leaked that information out there, putting the machine in jeopardy. We have no idea if the relevant numbers are still coming in but we are still receiving the irrelevant numbers."

"Now I've been meaning to ask you, what this is about relevant and irrelevant numbers?" she questioned as she sipped her wine.

"Relevant numbers are any numbers that are relevant to national security. Mainly they are any potential catastrophic event like a terrorist plot, mass massacre that is premeditated. Those numbers go to the ISA or the FBI, while the irrelevant numbers, the numbers of premeditated murders or other violent crimes come to us. The numbers are social security numbers which is all we get, we don't know if they are perpetrators or victims; that we have to figure out."

Joss nodded her head a bit. Okay that made more sense. "Okay, I get it a little bit better now." There was still so much she needed to know but she was willing to get bits and pieces from him about this super computer that he referred to as The Machine. "So what has been happening that has you worried, John?"

"Decima stole software that would be somewhat similar to Finch's machine he built. It's called Samaritan." John sighed taking a healthy gulp of his wine, Joss noticed the tension rising in him. "Samaritan couldn't come online because at one point there wasn't a processor that ran fast enough for the software until the government built one and Decima stole it."

"So, Decima, the same people that strapped you with a bomb vest, stole this Samaritan and this chip to get it operational. How can we stop them?"

"Root seems to think that the machine has a plan. I'm not so sure, but I'll do whatever I can to stop Decima."

"Is that why we can't be together, because you're worried about Decima?"

"If Decima can somehow get Samaritan operational and get the government feeds, there is nowhere we can hide so that Samaritan doesn't find us and kill us."

"Then we'll stop Samaritan from becoming operational," She said simply.

"It's not that easy, Joss." She eyed him. She slowly leaned forward putting her wine glass down, before grabbing his from his hand, and putting it on the coffee-table beside hers.

"It never is, John. We've been through tougher things and I'm not willing to give us up because of what might happen. We'll worry about Samaritan and Decima tomorrow, because tonight it's just me and you," she whispered, taking his hand with hers.

"Joss..." But she swooped down, taking his lips with hers. He sighed as he kissed her back and she inwardly did a dance knowing John wasn't going to put a stop to things. She leaned into him, pushing him back into her couch, and he readily wrapped his arms around her pulling her to him. His mouth promptly took control, while her hands grasped in his hair and she straddled him. He settled her against him firmly, making her sigh into his mouth, and his tongue curled with hers.

She released his hair, leaning back, but not breaking the kiss as her hands immediately began undoing his shirt. His hands were going for her buttons on her blouse. She sped up her fingers, noticing he did the same, and it soon became a competition to see who could get whose shirt off first. She won by a fraction of a second. She pushed his dress shirt and suit blazer back a little tearing her mouth free of his, and settled her mouth on his shoulder blade, near his neck, and sucked gently. Joss helped shrug her blouse off, before he palmed her breasts making her moan.

He rolled her over onto her back, before tugging down the cups of her bra exposing her breasts to him. His mouth found a nipple quickly, severing all brain function from connecting with the rest of her. John's mouth was warm, wet, and seductive on her. She moaned as she lifted her hips rubbing up against him. He released her nipple, to tongue it gently, before he showered her body with kisses. He made a sound as he touched her gunshot wound in the middle of her chest. He leaned back, before pressing kisses there while his fingers caressed the one she received in Fallujah.

She gently ran her fingers through his hair, when she felt wetness hit her chest she knew he was crying gently. When he thoroughly kissed every inch of the scar, she tugged on his head, and saw the emotions on his face before she took his mouth with hers. He sat back tugging his suit blazer off, then the dress shirt, and tore his mouth free to pull his undershirt over his head. He sat forward trying to take her mouth again, but she pushed him back, and slowly sat forward. She unclasped her bra, shrugging it off, but her eyes were on John's chest. His body was littered with muscles and scars. She found the fresh ones, the ones that Simmons had placed in him right in front of her. "Lay back," she commanded gruffly.

John slowly leaned back, leaning propped up against the back of the couch. She leaned over him, first kissing that scar he showed her in the morgue. She found one on his shoulder it was a half mooned shaped one, and then she found the new gunshot wound from Simmons near it. She traveled the jagged length with her tongue kissing it gently, before moving on. She found two more gunshot wounds to his lower left side, one had been when she had turned him into Snow, the other she didn't know when he got. It looked older. She kissed and loved each one there, thanking god that he was still alive to be with her. She found his new scar, the one that had been the more life threatening of the two wounds he got from Simmons. Joss kissed and loved that one. She loosely let her hands rest on his hips, before she climbed onto her knees between his spread legs on the floor.

She felt his erection pressing up against his pants, against her breasts. She lavished attention to his fresh scar, realizing she was crying this time as tears fell onto his stomach. She pulled back a little to lean her chin against his belly and stare up at him. "John, I…." He pressed a finger to her lips silencing her. She took his finger into her mouth, sucking gently. He made a gruff sound, before she released it. "You told me you loved me in your own way in the morgue, well I can't tell you any other way but just saying it, John I love you." She finished. "You've been showing me you loved me without words for so long now, John. It's my turn to show you how much I love you."

"Joss…" he began but ended on a soft moan, as she rubbed him through his pants. She used her other hand to reach down and slowly pull his one shoe off, before replacing her stroking hand with her right, and reached down to grab his other shoe.

"I love how protective and possessive you are of me," she whispered before tonguing his naval. "Like how you grabbed a hold of me when I was a bit nervous with Ian following me, or how you stepped between him and me telling him he was stalking women. You tried to play it cool, you really did, and I didn't notice then but I notice now. You were jealous." She methodically tugged his socks down his feet, having stopped touching him. "Then there is the time you broke into my place looking for me, trying to save me from taking down HR. Or how happy you were when I called you for backup. Or, how you left me in that morgue alone to lure HR away to protect me." She whispered because her voice grew raw, she felt like she was choking on a lump that formed there as she replayed that moment in her head.

"I'd die for you, Joss."

"I know just as I would for you." She said quietly, their gazes met. "When I shot Simmons I knew he might shoot me, he might even kill me, but I couldn't let him get away with hurting you. I couldn't…." John sat forward so quickly, took her mouth that he stole the rest of what she was going to say. He poured every emotion he was feeling at this very moment in the kiss, it was intense and passionate. Joss was sure she would be scorched from the inside out. Her hands rested on his waist, while his were in her hair. She kissed him eagerly back, matched his intensity, but deftly undid his belt. She was going to show him how much she loved him, just as he showed her for the last few years now. She broke the kiss. "It took me a while to realize the exact moment I fell in love with you John, but, now that I realize it, it's true."

"When?"

"When, you were in Rikers."

"Joss,"

"I could have just given you up to Donnelly, I could have but I didn't want to. I didn't want to lose you from my life. I told myself I was doing it because Donnelly had you wrong, you were a good man. I had myself fooled all the way up till I was alone in Rome. When I thought back about our relationship and how it evolved, and how you have been showing me since we met how much you cared about me. It wasn't because Donnelly had you wrong, it wasn't because you were a good man it wasn't because of any of that, it was because I couldn't lose you from my life. I risked my freedom for you, I risked everything because I wanted you in my life."

"I never wanted you to do all that for me, I never wanted you to be in that position." He touched her cheeks.

"But I'd gladly do it all over again." She assured as she undid his button and zipper. "I fell in love with you when you told me about yourself in Rikers." She murmured not looking him in the eyes anymore, as she stood up and tugged his pants down his lean form along with his underwear. She licked her lips as she eyed his cock. He was nice, big, and warm. She touched him. He was steely hard but smooth. He grabbed the cushions beneath him and moaned her name. "I'm so sorry it took me this long to figure out when I fell for you."

"Do you know when I fell in love with you?" he whispered. She paused from stroking him gently, tore her loving gaze off his throbbing manhood to peer up at his face. His eyes were large, open, and allowing her to see into his soul. Not often did John allow people in, usually his emotions were masked, but not right now. Not with her.

"When?"

"The very second I laid eyes on you." John answered and she stared seeing nothing but sincerity and honesty in his bright blue eyes.

"There's no such thing as love at first sight, John." She tried as she worked her throat.

"There is, because the moment I saw you I knew you were going to change my life. And you did, you changed me, Joss, and I have loved you since then."

"But you couldn't have! I gave you to Snow! I got you shot, how could you still love me after that, before I even proven to you that you could trust me." How could he, when she had hated herself for falling for the crap Snow fed her? It had taken her a long time to come to terms with what she had done, she wasn't even fully sure she forgave herself for nearly getting John killed.

"Joss, I loved you at the precinct where we met, and you offered me help. You didn't know me, I didn't prove myself that you could trust me, yet you tried to help me. There isn't anything you could do to me that will ever make me not love you, even if you stop loving me, I will always love you."

"John," her voice cracked, tears filled her eyes, and she felt stupid for crying.

"Come here," he reached down, tugging her into his lap. She laid her head against his shoulder, crying. She was getting overly sentimental over what he just said. Here she had him completely naked and she was blubbering like a baby.

"I'm sorry, I never usually cry." She sniffed. He lifted her face up with his finger under her chin. His blue eyes sparkled in the dim lighting.

"You have nothing to apologize for Joss,"

"Why didn't you ever tell me how you felt? Why did you show me in small ways, a girl sometimes has to be hit over the head with the news you know. We don't always get the subtle signs!" She said irritably. And coming from John they had been extremely subtle!

"At first I didn't even know what I felt for you, I was alone for so long, Joss, that I couldn't even recognize what I was feeling." He caressed her face lightly. "It took me a while to put my finger on it as to what I was feeling for you."

"How long?" she leaned into his caress.

"I realized it when you showed up to save me from the bomb vest. You wanted to save me, and I wanted to protect you from my past."

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you avoid me?"

"Because I didn't feel good enough for you, I thought you deserved someone better than me and you were with Beecher, I figured he was the better man for you. Joss, I'm living a life that is shrouded in shadows, while you belong to the light and the world."

"John you need to stop thinking you're this monster. You are just a man that has a traumatic past. Just as I am a woman with her own traumatic past, I think us together could make one helluva team." She murmured before pressing kisses against his cheek and chin. "We work together well, we are stronger together than apart, and we love one another." She wiggled in his lap, as he parted her thighs touching her through her pants. John's mouth was on her neck sucking. "Oh god, John, please." She moaned. He slowly slid from beneath her, she lay on the couch as he undid her snap and zipper. He tugged at the waistband of her jeans, taking her panties along with them, pulling them to her feet and threw them on his pile of clothes.

John lifted her left leg up, trailing his tongue from her knee up her thigh. He inhaled her scent, as he leaned down, his eyes on hers. He shifted his adoring gaze between her legs, smiling at the high gloss he found there. He leaned forward touching her with his tongue, Joss moaned as she jackknifed on the couch. "Whoa, Joss, relax." He murmured, rubbing her thigh gently.

"Relax," she moaned hotly as he grabbed her thigh with his left hand, while pressed her stomach down with his other, as he licked her. "You try relaxing when my mouth is on you." She said clearly trying to keep the breathless quality from her voice. She wasn't achieving it too well.

Joss moaned his name as he explored, licked, and sucked on her gently. She was going to die a slow death, yep she knew what her tombstone would say; Joss Carter dead by John's wicked mouth. She tugged on his hair, hoping the pain was enough to let him know she meant business. She was not coming like this. She wanted him inside her this second. John pressed warm kisses to her abdomen, her belly, chest, chin, and finally her mouth. She spread her legs, as her arms wrapped around his neck. She groaned when he sat back a moment leaning over reaching on the floor.

"What are you doing, if you think you're leaving me like this…?"

"Joss, I'm not leaving, and I'm certainly not stopping. But I need a condom."

"Yeah of course, get it on, and get in me." She watched as the man held out the foil package tantalizingly. She needed to get back on birth control. She hadn't been on it since she got shot. Joss watched impatiently as he ripped into it, delicately pulling the damn condom out. "Give me it, if you put the damn condom on, I'll be a hundred years old before you fuck me." She retorted.

"So un-lady like Joss, so bossy, you're sexy when you are impatient." He teased before he groaned as she rolled the condom onto him.

"We waited long enough," she reminded as she reached her arms around his neck, tugging him down, and took his mouth with hers. She sighed as she felt him positioning himself, he lifted her thigh up, and he swiftly entered her. She broke the kiss to moan his name. They remained still, she suspected John was trying to let her adjust…he was definitely a size bigger than she was anticipating. He was stretching her wide, she was full of him. She hadn't had sex in a long LONG while.

"You okay, Joss?" he ground out.

She didn't respond as she waited for him to move. It was amazing, this was amazing. John was filling her, so fully, but it wasn't enough. She needed movement. "Joss…"

"Huh," she worked her throat, wiggling her hips a little.

"Stop that," he groaned sharply. She was so tiny in his arms he was afraid he was going to hurt her, by being too rough. "Please, I'm trying to let you adjust. Baby you're so tight." He shuddered as he leaned his forehead against hers, she was tight, but she felt amazing. He needed a moment to catch his breath or he was going to fuck her senseless regardless if she was ready for him or not.

"Me…tight, try your cock is too big." She moaned under her breath, but judging by the blasted man laughter he heard her. But at this point she didn't care, because he was killing her by not moving. "Will you please move sometime this century!" she raked her nails across his back.

He withdrew from her, before he powered back into her setting a slow, steady, and amazing pace. She wanted to feel every inch of his glorious glide in and out of her. She closed her eyes, sighing, as his thrusts were deep. But she could feel him, holding back. "Harder," she breathed into his ear, opening her eyes and staring into his.

"I'll hurt you. You're small, Joss, I don't want to hurt you." He said, keeping with the slow but steady pace. He reached down between them, touching her.

"Harder John, you won't hurt me, I won't break." she urged her hips up, but he firmly held them down, setting the pace. She reached down grabbing that firm ass of his. "Please, fuck me harder." She whispered into his ear. He growled something she didn't understand before he took her mouth hotly, and nearly pulled out of her fully, only to slam back into her. She gasped as she flung her head back to cry his name out. Yes, god, yes he was taking her the way she knew he wanted too. Exactly the way she wanted him too. She wrapped her arms around his neck, as his held onto her hips. His thrusts were fast, hard, and deep. He hit the same spot over and over again, she moaned as he leaned up tugging her with him propping her back against the armrest as he stared down at her.

"Joss," he nipped her chin, as her legs hung over his powerful thighs. They were as close as two people could get, if anyone would walk in right now, no one would be able to tell where she ended and John began. He held her cheeks in his hands, forcing her to stare into his eyes, as he thrust into her. Her back hit the armrest, hard. She gasped as her orgasm built, John took her mouth with his. He was close she could feel it. His thrusts were frenzied, she grabbed at his shoulders, hoping like hell they could climax at the same time. Her orgasm exploded inside her, making her see sparks behind her lids. She pushed out of the kiss to sing his name, feeling him stiffen moments later. His thighs under her ass tensed, his soft call of her name was true music. After it was finally over, they both slumped against the armrest, John laid on top of her, and both shook a little.

"Wow," she breathed, rubbing a hand through John's damp hair. "That was amazing."

"God, Joss, you're perfect." He lifted his head up to kiss her lips gently.

"You're staying the night right?" she demanded twirling some of his hair in her fingers.

"If you want me too."

"I want you too." She agreed, kissing him softly. "I also want a shower." She nibbled on his stubble roughened chin.

"Mmm, me too." He smiled as he scooped her up in his arms. He sidestepped their clothes, never withdrawing from her. "Wait…any more fun might have to be put on hold, Joss that was my only condom."

"You only carry one condom around? You are definitely not some player."

"Hey, you're lucky I had that one. Shaw gave it to me."

"What?"

"It was Shaw's way of annoying me."

"Why?"

"She gave me it after she asked if there was anything going on between me and you, while we were watching you with Ian. She gave me the damned condom, telling me that if I wanted to bone you I better do it safely." He sighed as he carried her up into her upstairs bathroom. He slowly set her on her feet, withdrawing from her, and discarded the used condom in the wastebasket. She licked her tongue up his spine, while he washed his hands.

"Well there is more than one way to have a little fun even without the party favor." Joss teased before wrapping her arm around his waist to grab him loosely.

"Oh yeah? How about I scrub your back, you scrub mine, first." He whispered as he turned in her arms. She smiled as he took her lips with his softly. She reached out for the darn knobs for her shower.

"Sounds lovely, John."

* * *

><p>AN: Again thank you to everyone that patiently waited. I'm going to try to post an update of Careese Themes today or tomorrow too. I have a few oneshots ready to post I just hadn't any time :( Thanks for reading!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN:*pokes head out* Hi, everyone...sorry for the lack of update =/ I am trying! I'm going to try my hardest at spamming this story with updates!  
><strong>_

_**This takes place during 3x20 and this chapter does**_ _**have smut too, though it's at the end so you can read this if you are an anti smut reader for the most part just stop once you get towards the end where the smut is :)**_

* * *

><p>"Why are you down, Carter?" Fusco asked as his friend and partner exited the captain's office clearly upset with whatever the interim captain had to say.<p>

"I have been placed on desk duty for the next foreseeable future!" she glared at the captain's office. "He said I have to be placed on desk duty until I completed five appointments with the department shrink, and undergo a psych evaluation. Then I have to be given a physical, and if all that checks out is when I'll be cleared for active duty again."

"He's the interim captain, Carter, the FBI appointed him when they fired the captain after you brought down HR. Besides I think you're more upset because wonder-boy had to fly out to D.C. and you didn't get to tag along." No, she was more upset because she wasn't going to get to have mind-blowing sex tonight. John broke down last night, left and bought a pack of condoms, came back, and they had sex all night long. She was tired, sore, and oh so satisfied. They finally gotten to be together, and now he had to go flying to D.C. just perfect, she had been hoping for a repeat night, tonight. They could have had some dinner, some conversation then sex and more sex, which sounded perfect to her.

"Yeah well, I was hoping John would stay in New York for a while since I just got back in from Rome." She grumbled, sitting down at her desk.

"So what's going on between you two, Carter?"

"What do you mean?" she answered vaguely.

"You and wonder-boy, you two start something or what?"

"Why?"

"Stop asking a question instead of answering mine." Fusco griped. "Did you start something or not?"

"We started something," she admitted lifting her chin, waiting for Fusco's comments. But when none came she eyed him suspiciously. "What, no snide comment about John?"

"Nah, because I realized something that I hadn't realized before Carter."

"What?"

"You two just fit. You relax wonder-boy, and wonder-boy makes you happy." Fusco said with a shrug. "And your happiness is all that matters to me, even if it's with my bane of my existence." She smiled.

"Thanks Fusco, I just hope the rest of our friends will be as welcoming."

"Why you think the little mini Reese won't? I think she's been cheerleading for you two to get together for a while now, and four eyes don't seem to be the nosy type." Fusco replied. Her phone buzzed with a text, Joss pulled it out, and saw it was from Shaw. She smirked. Yep, Fusco was right, Shaw didn't care. Because the text merely read; 'nice hickey you gave Reese'.

"Yeah well I hope so." Joss agreed. Not that she cared what her friends thought, she loved John and he loved her back, and that was all that mattered. Her friends blessing would be nice but not necessary.

* * *

><p>"You seem happy John," Finch said quietly as they sat in his car with the opera music playing.<p>

"I am Finch," he agreed as they watched McCourt walking around without a care in the world. "Joss is back from Rome, has mobility back in her right arm, and can do what she loves doing which is being a cop. I'm glad for her."

"And you're glad she'd home."

"Of course I'm glad she's back from Rome, Finch, I missed her." He agreed not taking his eyes out of the lens that he had zoomed close to see McCourt.

"Of course, John, and it has nothing to do with the change in your relationship status." That got John's attention. He turned to look at Finch.

"How do you know about that? Were you listening in on us?" he demanded.

"No, no, of course not John, I wouldn't ever listen in on you and the detective."

"Then how do you know?" John demanded. Finch's gaze dropped to his neck, John groaned as he realized there had to be a mark. He grabbed the visor, pulled it down, and looked in the tiny mirror and moved his head to the side, and sure enough there was a hickey. Damn it Joss!

"I'm happy for you both, John, the detective is a wonderful woman and you deserve to be happy."

"Thanks," he grumbled a bit, feeling his cheeks heat at having not taken a moment this morning to check to see if she left any marks on his neck, she had been sucking there quite a bit last night. Oh god, he wondered if Root and Shaw had seen it. He would never live it down if Shaw had seen it! John pushed the thoughts out of his mind, focusing back on the congressman. "This isn't working, Finch, he doesn't even know the danger he's in, and I can't get close enough to him. They can hire Secret Service Men to protect him if there is an elevated threat to his life."

"What do you suggest we do, Mr. Reese?"

John rolled his window down, pulled his gun out, and fired in the general vicinity of the congressman. "Now he knows, now drive Finch." Finch's eyes were wide, and he peeled away from the curb.

* * *

><p>Things had gone bad to worse. He helped Shaw walk around as they had all come back in from D.C. after working McCourt's case.<p>

"Are you going to be alright, Shaw?" he asked quietly as they walked around the streets of New York, hiding from the police. Harold had disappeared, he was upset about the machine giving McCourt's number so they kill him. John was going to do it, was going to kill him, but ended up not for Finch. Finch didn't wish it, didn't want him to kill the congressman, and he knew internally that Joss wouldn't want it either.

"I'll be fine, been shot worse. We need to find Finch."

"If Finch doesn't want to be found, we won't find him." He murmured. "We need to keep a low profile until the news media about the abduction of McCourt goes away."

She nodded her head. "Go see her, I know you want too."

"I do but I'm not leaving your side Shaw until I know you'll be alright." He continued to help her walk.

"Like I said I have had worse, Reese, I think we are going to have a problem. McCourt is green-lighting Samaritan and we failed to stop him. Samaritan is going to come online soon." John nodded, which was why he needed to go visit with Joss. He needed to warn her, he needed to see her, and explain why he was going to be scarce for a while. "Go, I'm fine." Shaw stated and he released his firm hold on her elbow. They parted ways, he pulled his beanie over his head more so that any police that could see him wouldn't recognize his face. John texted Joss asking her to meet him at her place, he smiled when he received a text almost immediately back.

John picked her lock ten minutes later, letting himself in and waited. He tugged the beanie off his head, pocketing it, tugging his gloves off too. He turned when the door opened. "John you here yet?" she called out.

"In your living room," he smiled softly as she flew inside and wrapped her arms around his neck. She didn't even seem upset about the fact that he broke in again.

"John I was so worried about you, you hadn't called or anything, and I was watching the news about McCourt." She pulled back. "You're alright?"

"I am, Joss, but I needed to see you and warn you."

"No," she shook her head, taking a firm hold on his cheeks. "No, I'm not letting you go if that's what you think. I don't care, we just got this thing between us going."

"I'm not letting you go, Joss, not yet at least. But I need to warn you that Samaritan might be coming online and if that happens I will not be seeing you. I will not risk your life. I can't."

"John we have been through a lot worse, we can struggle through this."

"I hope so."

"You don't sound confident."

"Because Samaritan is a different animal, Joss, we have been through a lot but I'm not sure if we can outdo this."

"We can." She assured. "I'll have confidence enough for the both of us. We can get through this, together."

"I love you Joss," he took her lips with his, passionately. She moaned as she pushed at his jacket. Joss wasn't going to waste a single moment of their time together. John was worried she could see it in his face. She pulled him towards the staircase, while she dominated the kiss. He sighed heavily, as he followed her up the stairs. He broke the kiss, she turned and ran up the stairs, discarding her jacket as she went.

"Catch me if you can, John." She teased hearing quick footsteps behind her. She squealed as he caught her around the waist, tumbling her onto her bed, her hands going for his dress shirt. He had taken his blazer off somewhere on the steps.

"Caught ya," he grinned as he pinned her hands to the bed.

"Now what are you going to do with me?" she teased as she curled her legs around his hips.

"Hmmm," he nipped her chin. "That my love is for me to know and you to find out." He purred as he ground into her softly, earning a moan from her.

"You tease," She giggled as she parted his shirt, before tugging it from his waistband of his pants.

"You'll just have to be patient, Joss, and we both know how impatient you are." He slowly sat back shrugging his dress shirt off, before he knocked her pumps off, while she smiled as she eyed his pants noting the nice bulge.

"And we know how impatient someone gets himself." She murmured as she spread her legs on purpose. He stared between her legs before sliding his gaze up to her eyes. He licked his lips and she swallowed a moan. She sat up and their hands rustled with clothing, both needing to get skin. "I say it's you who is more impatient." She moaned as she pushed him onto his back, dragging her tongue across his chest, pushing his shirt off the bed.

John immediately rolled her onto her back. "It's you," he whispered as he easily pinned her hands to the bed with one large palm. He tightened his grip when she tugged. "And I'm going to tease you until you are begging me to take you to prove it." He assured as he finished unbuttoning her shirt with his free hand. He cupped her breast.

"You're cheating," she said tugging on her hands again. She moaned as he cupped her breast as he tightened his grip on her hands. She couldn't free them. Joss wasn't going to forget the fact that he was using his strength against her, Joss was going to get even for this because she might not have his strength to hold his hands down, but there were things that would help her out. Namely her handcuffs. She gasped as he pressed his palm against between her legs, she wished her clothes was out of the way.

"Mmm," he took her mouth and his hand slid from between her legs, undoing her button and zipper. "You're mine, Joss." He murmured against her lips, before he slipped a hand into her loosened pants, under her panties.

"J-oh-John," she moaned as his touched her. He smirked down at her.

"You're wet." He teased her, before he found her entrance and slipped a finger into her. "And ready for me, tell me to fuck you Joss."

"John, will you please take my clothes off." She tried to remain polite. He slipped a second finger in her, while he ran his thumb over her clitoris. She squirmed under his hold.

"Where's my un-ladylike Joss?" he purred as he withdrew his hand from her pants, she growled in the back of her throat as she watched him lick his fingers. He was teasing her, purposely. "Tell me to fuck you senseless." He whispered seductively in her ear.

"Fuck me, just fuck me John." She gave up trying to be polite, she gave up trying to remain patient. John was right she was impatient, because she wanted him. It seemed that was all he needed because he sat back pulled her pants down, undid his, and she helped push his pants down. They both scrambled for the condom, John rolled it on quick, and he was inside her in seconds. Her pillows got pushed off the bed as he slammed into her.

"God, John," she moaned as she curled her legs around his hips, not caring at the restrictive movements, she wasn't going to last long anyways. "I love you." She bit hard on his shoulder.

"I love you, Joss." His voice was breathless, his thrusts were deep, strong, and hard. He drew her closer to the edge. "Look at me, Joss." He moaned. She opened her eyes, staring. Their fingers linked together, eyes connected. Joss felt the teasing gone, replaced with seriousness. Her orgasm rocked her seconds later, she stared into his eyes as she cried his name, climaxing hard. His sharp moan as she clenched him inside her, as spasms after spasms rocked her core, forced John over the abyss with her. He stiffened above her, he kept his eyes on her as he called her name, and it was intensely sexy sharing this sort of intimacy. After several minutes, after both their orgasms faded was when he collapsed on top of her.

"I love you John." She said again quietly keeping her arms and legs wrapped around him.

"I love you too, Joss, but sometimes love isn't enough."

"It is for us." She countered. He lifted his head, peering down at her. She saw the same worry in his eyes as earlier. "Let's just enjoy the here and now." She offered. She didn't want to argue and she surely didn't want to waste today.

"Shaw was shot, Finch left, I feel like I'm betraying my friends by being this happy." He admitted as he slowly withdrew her. Joss sat up watching as the man she loved slid from bed, walking into her bathroom butt-naked. Joss leaned over the edge of the bed, grabbing his shirt, and tugged it on. She sat waiting for him to reappear. John appeared a couple minutes later, looking hot all rumpled. Her eyes on his naked form, before he climbed into bed beside her. She snuggled against him.

"We have been through a long rough period, John, don't you think we deserve some sort of happiness. John, I was shot, you were shot. I had spent months in Rome, we spent months apart, and we are finally together. Is it wrong that I feel selfish and want to be this happy, even if our friends aren't?" she asked before lifting her head to lean her chin against his chest to eye him in the eyes. "Am I wrong?"

"No, of course not, Joss, we have been through a lot. I just…don't know what to do."

"We endure, like always. Why did Finch leave?"

"He's upset with the machine."

"Like you were?"

"Sort of, I was angry with the machine for not warning us in time to help you, and while I don't fully believe in the machine I believe in the cause. I believe in saving people, you helped me remember that."

"So what happened?"

"Finch doesn't agree with what the machine wanted us to do, we received McCourt's number as you know, but it wasn't to save him."

"Wait, are you saying…."

"The machine wanted us to kill McCourt."

"Why? It has never given you a number to kill before, why would it give one now?"

"McCourt has the power to decide if Samaritan will come online or not now that Northern Lights has been ousted to the public, and Decima has been schmoozing him. We received his number to stop the deal from happening."

"Can it even do that?"

"If the machine feels one life will save many. Finch asked me not to kill him and so I didn't. Joss, we have to lay low because of kidnapping McCourt. But while we were on the run Shaw got shot. When we got back to New York, Finch left, because he was upset with the machine."

"It will get better, baby, I promise." She whispered taking his lips softly with hers to ease his pain and worry. John was seriously worried. This was the most worried she ever seen him, besides about her.

"How did things go with the captain, have you been reactivated again?" he asked clearly changing the subject.

"NO! I am stuck on desk duty because I have to go through useless five shrink appointments, do a psych evaluation, and have a physical performed to even have a shot at being on active duty once more."

"Well you'll pass your physical with flying colors." He smirked, rubbing her thigh with his hand. "You'll get off desk duty soon."

"Yeah I know it's just going to be so boring," she said knowing she was whining a bit. But she hadn't worked an active case since taking down HR because of getting shot, then rehab, and now she had to wait even though she felt better because of stupid regulations!

"They're just trying to make sure you are alright, Joss, but if you want I could perform a mock physical for you." He smiled as he pushed her onto her back. She smiled back.

"Oh, out of the goodness of your heart you're going to help me get ready for my physical, huh?" she teased.

"Yeah, I want to help get you back to doing what you love, and if I have to offer my assistance at giving you a physical I guess I'll bite the bullet." He took her lips softly, sucking on her bottom lip.

"Alright, Dr. John, get to it, and examine me." She purred as she raised her hands above her head, he sat back his eyes blazed with lust and love.

"My pleasure,"

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading! Sorry for such the long drought of no updates I haven't been on in a while : ugh. I'm still trying to read all the wonderful fics that have been posted recently, and some recs I received when I was on the Careese chat.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN: This deals with 3x21. Again I want to apologize for the roughness to these chapters, but I didn't write it fluidly and didn't want to change a thing for you guys from what I had for myself. So I apologize.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>Joss's eyes widened as she slid from her desk, watching John, a pretty red-head, and Shaw entering the bullpen. She hurried to greet him. "No, no, no you can't be in here." Joss snapped.<p>

"Yes we can, we are police." John assured as he flashed Stills' badge at her. She glared slightly at him, as Fusco appeared by her side. He eyed the badge and then John.

"You're killing me with that; it's not safe for you in here," Fusco said echoing her same sentiment. But John was looking around the precinct. He didn't look exactly happy having to be here either. He looked upset. Things have been tense. John texted her telling her that it wasn't safe for him to be near her, that Samaritan was operational. It was killing her to not go to him, but here he was seeking her out.

"It's a good point. Any way to turn those things off?" John pointed at the cameras in the precinct. Joss shook her head.

"The cameras, the department has them all over the place now, all thanks to HR." Joss murmured. Her eyes noted the red-head she looked fearful and was shaking a bit.

"Joss, Lionel, meet Grace. She has some very bad people trying to hurt her."

"I don't know what's going on, but these detectives saved my life." Grace said before looking at John and Shaw. Joss smiled a little at John.

"Yeah they're good at that." She agreed.

"Can we find her a place to rest?" John asked quickly.

"Yeah, alright, come on." Fusco took Grace's arm and lead her away. Joss sidled up next to John.

"What's going on? Who is that woman?"

"We got her number even though we have to stay out of Samaritan's and Decima's reach. Her name is Grace Hendricks, and she's Finch's fiancée."

"Excuse me? Fiancée?"

"Former, he had to leave her behind to save her life." John said and Joss turned to see her sit down in the interrogation room before Fusco shut the door. She was a pretty and seemed like a nice woman, it was no wonder Finch liked her. She turned to look back at John.

"You are alright, right?" she asked worried about him. He had disappeared, and then texted her to stay away that he would come to her when he could. Joss didn't like being told what to do, but, she also knew that disobeying him would work opposite. John needed to concentrate on staying alive, not protecting her because she wanted to risk it all and be near him. So for the time being she was willing to listen.

"Samaritan's online, Joss, we make one false move and Decima will kill us. You need to stay here for the time being, and when I'm gone, you can leave."

"John I'm not staying away from you forever."

"It has to be this way, Joss, at least for now. Promise me, you'll do this for me."

"Yes, I know you won't be happy until you know I'm safe. But that goes two ways, John, you be safe too. I can't lose you." She wanted to touch him but didn't. Not with these cameras up. He didn't want Decima or Samaritan to know they were together. John moved over to speak to Shaw, while she turned and saw Fusco gathering coffee in a mug. She slid John one last quiet look before walking over to where he stood. "Is that for our visitor?" she questioned.

"Yeah why?"

"I'll take it to her." She took the mug from him. Fusco merely nodded before walking away to go see if Shaw or Reese needed anything from him. Joss carried the warm coffee to the interrogation room, before entering. She smiled as Grace Hendricks turned to look at her. Joss could easily read the fear, nerves, and concern in the woman's face. Her interrogation side wanted to rear its ugly head and dig for some dirt so she could learn more about her peculiar friend that loved this woman enough to want to marry her. "Hi, it's lousy but warm." She put the mug down on the table.

"Thanks,"

"I never did get to introduce myself, I'm Detective Joss Carter, but please call me Joss."

"Alright, Joss." Grace played with the coffee mug in her hands never once taking a sip.

"How are you holding up?"

"Why would someone want to hurt me?" Grace wondered.

"I can't tell you what's going on out there, but in here you're safe." Joss offered. "We won't let anything happen to you."

"The other detectives; Stills, and his partner, are they always like that?" Grace asked as she eyed her. Joss smiled softly.

"I know they might come off a little stiff, but they've saved my life a dozen times. Trust me, they're the good guys." Joss assured with a soft rub to her shoulder, before she left. She just exited the room when she saw Root, her eyes widened as Root and Fusco were talking. Oh hell no, what was she doing here? They had enough on their plate to deal with, without that lady being here to make things worse! Root walked away, while Fusco approached her grumbling something under his breath. She grabbed his elbow. "What is she doing here?" she hissed as they walked side by side.

"Who…cocoa puffs besides making my life a living hell, she wants me to get her a small list of things. She claims it will help our guys and the pretty lady, so I'm willing to play along…for now." Fusco walked away, grabbing an empty box with handles on his way towards the back.

"How are you holding up, Carter?" Joss turned slightly seeing Shaw standing there, having rid herself of her coat.

"I'm fine."

"Reese sure seems to be worried about you, about Finch, and about this Grace. He needs to keep his head in the game, so maybe if he wasn't so worried about you it he won't make careless mistakes."

"Me, why is he worried about me? I'm not the one on the run from this super computer that's online and has Decima looking to kill me."

"That's just it, Carter, he doesn't think you'll listen to him to stay away and he's worrying about you and your safety."

"So what, this pep talk is to what tell me to stay away from John? Not going to happen. I love that man and I'm not going to let some stupid computer get in my way of my happiness with him!"

"You're stubborn, but you're also very intelligent, Carter."

"You're worried about him." She said. She noted the shifty look, the way Shaw's shoulders tensed, and the glare on her face. Yep, she hit on the head. Shaw was worried about John's safety.

"Look, Reese nearly got himself killed looking to avenge you, Reese didn't listen to reason and nearly bled out. If something happens to you, that he was trying to prevent, there is nothing we can do to save him."

"What are you talking about?" Joss demanded as she eyed John who was pacing the floor back and forth near the interrogation room. She brought her gaze back on Shaw, who looked surprised.

"I thought he would have told you about it, while you were in a coma and your outlook had been bleak. He didn't even know you were alive."

"He has been quite vague on that time in his life, I thought it was because he couldn't remember much of it because of being injured himself." She admitted and to be perfectly frank, none of it mattered anymore because they were both alive, and they found their way to be together. "What happened?"

"Nothing much, besides he went on a revenge quest to avenge your death, or so he thought. Finch, I, Fusco, and Root had to go get him. He got to Quinn he even got Simmons exit, then his body went to the crappers on him, he collapsed and was dying. I knew it, Fusco and Finch knew it, but Reese didn't want to be saved. He didn't want to live without you."

"So, how did you get him to leave?"

"He tried to kill Quinn, and because he was so out of him he hadn't realized his gun was empty of bullets, so he gave up." Shaw said simply. She didn't bother to try to explain the look on Reese's face during that moment. She didn't even know how to explain it. Shaw didn't do feelings or emotions, but even she could tell the utter devastated look on his face.

Joss swallowed hard as she watched the man they were talking about enter a different interrogation room from the one where Grace was to remain in. She wanted to go to him, demand him to explain himself, and then kiss him till forever but she didn't. She needed to process what Shaw had said. Because she knew that Simmons was dead, no one had cared much to find out who murdered him, and to be honest she didn't care either. She didn't want to waste energy on finding his murderer. But she did want to dredge up the pain of that time in her life because she had a feeling John was still dealing with lingering issues from that time himself. But that would have to be later, right now they had to concentrate on saving Grace. And that was what they were going to do.

The door to the interrogation room Grace was in opened, and Grace was carrying her jacket and looked upset, as she exited.

"Hey, where are you going?" Joss touched her elbow.

"How is Detective Stills one of the good guys if he isn't even Detective Stills?" Grace demanded as she held up the paper with Stills' info on it, and when he was last seen. Joss sobered up having forgotten to tear that down.

"They are the good guys yeah we lied to you, but it was to protect you." Joss agreed. Grace eyed her in disbelief before moving to walk out the front door. Root hurried forward appearing out of nowhere.

"If you walk out that door, you will either be killed or grabbed, the lies that were told to you are a far better fate than what awaits you if you leave, Ms. Grace Hendricks. So sit tight and relax, and you'll be fine." Root spoke to Finch's fiancée like she was a child and Joss glared at her for being so condescending. She didn't fully blame Grace for not believing them and not understanding. If the roles had been reversed, she sure the hell knew she would have been just as upset as Grace was.

Joss touched her shoulder gently to ease her obvious fright as Root moved forward, smiling, as Lionel appeared.

"What do you have for me, Lionel?" Root asked as she eyed the box, before taking it from her partner. Fusco just watched her walk away.

"I hope cocoa puffs has a plan because from what she had me gather for her, I don't see it."

"Keep an eye on Root, while I go get Grace settled again." She murmured and they split up. She secured Grace back in the interrogation room, while she eyed John who was motioning at her. She hurried over to him. "What? Grace is fine she was attempting to leave."

"Him, he works for Decima, have him come here." He whispered from the shadows of the interrogation room. Joss turned and saw Shaw was speaking to a man that had a blue folded up paper. If she didn't know any better she would say that was a warrant. Joss nodded touching his hand briefly before walking away. She hurried over to where Shaw looked ready to beat the everlasting hell out of the man before her.

"Is there a problem, detective?" Joss questioned gaining Shaw's look. But she ignored her and looked at the man. "I'm Detective Carter."

"Special Agent Maybank," he greeted as he flashed his badge.

"Ah, of course, we were just about to question your suspect. I had a feeling she was tied to something bigger! You know if you like I can bring her to you in the interrogation room." She offered as she motioned with her hand.

"Please," he murmured with a smirk thrown at Shaw. Joss ignored the blazing look on Shaw's face.

"Sure, right this way." Joss agreed as she took him to the interrogation room where her boyfriend was lying in wait. She opened the door, motioned for him to go in, and John immediately attacked him, and Joss slowly closed the door. "Whoops, wrong interrogation room." She smiled and with a nod to Shaw walked to her desk. If her captain caught wind of her up and about for too long, he'll come out here and try to see if she was trying to work a case without his permission. She didn't need that to happen not with her friends and boyfriend lurking around the precinct. She just sure the hell hoped this would work and they would be alright.

* * *

><p>Joss paced back and forth, she hadn't seen John or her friends since they left with Grace last night. It was already two in the afternoon. John had been adamant before he left that he would contact her when he could and not to bother contacting him. It was eating away at her, Joss had caught herself twice almost doing the exact opposite of his wishes, but stopped herself. She kept telling herself that John was a man of his word and he would contact her when he could. He just couldn't yet. But scenario after scenario of something terrible happening to him plagued her mind, nearly making her throw caution to the wind, and deal with his anger later just to hear his voice and confirm to herself he was alright.<p>

Her phone buzzed and her heart leapt into her throat as she ran to where it rested on the mantle on her fireplace. She growled in agitation when it was Fusco. "Thought it was me?" Joss whirled around and stared at John. He looked upset, cold, and had another emotion glittering in his blue eyes. She was about to rush him when it was him that did the rushing, it was him that pulled her into the tightest hug she ever been in, and it was him that shook.

"What happened?"

"Grace is safe but they have Finch."

"Who has Finch?" she whispered as she gently rubbed his back.

"Greer," he buried his face in her neck. Joss could barely hear him. Greer, John had mentioned him before and explained he ran Decima Technologies. She didn't bother asking anything else, determined to soothe his obvious pain over losing Finch, and when he was calmed a bit then ask him. He slowly pushed out of her arms, and she tenderly touched his face.

"Tell me what happened." She tugged him to the couch, pushing him gently onto it, and sat down beside him. She took his gloves off, noting his red ears, and she almost clucked at him for not wearing his beanie. It was freezing outside, but she had to soothe his emotional pain first, before she lectured him about taking better care of himself. Joss placed his leather gloves behind her, before taking his left hand in between hers, and squeezed. "Talk John,"

"The only way to get Grace back was to trade her for Finch."

"You lost Grace?"

"Yeah," his voice sounded raw. "They knew our tricks and rammed us with their SUV, taking Grace. I tried to stop them but couldn't. We tried to find her location, we got close but got there too late, and Greer told us the only way we could have her back was to give him Finch. Shaw and I was trying to figure out a different way but Finch appeared, somehow knowing they had Grace and knowing what they wanted. He offered to trade himself and wouldn't even think of other options, he just wanted Grace protected."

"Sounds like Harold,"

"Yeah," he agreed looking away, rapidly blinking his eyes. Joss knew what Finch meant to John, losing the man you attributed to saving you had to be destroying him inside. Just like she knew almost losing her that John had attributed to changing him nearly destroyed him.

"We'll get him back," she assured. "You won't lose Finch just like you didn't lose me, John. I won't let you suffer another loss." She kissed his cheek.

"I'm not so sure, Shaw and I don't even know where they are stashing Finch."

"We'll figure it out," she soothed. "But you came here, does that mean you think it's safe?"

"For the time being, Joss, Root seems to think that Samaritan was powered down."

"Good that gives us time to find and save Harold."

"I hope so, Shaw and I are going to be searching for Decima workers and try to get them to tell us where Finch is being held at. That is if they will even talk, they tend to like to kill themselves before talking." Joss rubbed his hand between hers in a silent effort at trying to comfort him.

"Where's Grace?"

"With Lionel going to JFK airport where she'll be leaving for a new life in Italy."

"So you called Lionel to help you." She tried to swallow the anger the bubbled up. How dare he keep her in the dark like this? She had been going nuts with worry and he called Lionel to have him help but didn't bother calling her, his girlfriend to even give her a heads up that he was alright!?

"Yes,"

"Why?" she bit out.

"Why would I call you?" he demanded turning to eye her. "You aren't on active duty yet Joss."

"That's not fair, it's not my fault the department has strict guidelines after someone gets shot! I am perfectly healthy John! You should know," she snapped throwing it in his face that he had sex with her often. "Fine, if you didn't want my help then why the hell didn't you call me to tell you are alright?"

"Joss it's not that I didn't want you help, I called Lionel because I didn't want you anywhere near Decima."

"Oh so throw Fusco to the wolves huh."

"Damn it Joss stop putting words into my mouth," he snapped.

"It's what you did! You protected me from Decima while having Fusco there."

"He wasn't in any danger."

"Then why the hell couldn't I be there?" she argued. "I wanted to be there for you John, instead you kept me in the dark."

"I just didn't want you there, okay!" he tugged his hand free, standing up. He walked away, and Joss climbed off the couch. She followed him to her foyer where he was going to leave, and she slammed a palm on the door as he opened it.

"Why?"

"Because Finch said if they hurt Grace in any way I had the permission to kill them all. And you would have stopped me." Joss touched his arm, turning him, and she saw the truth there. His reasoning wasn't because he was trying to protect her, wasn't because he didn't want her there by his side, but because he had been afraid she would have stopped him from killing Decima.

"You're right I would have because you're not a killer anymore John, and Finch wouldn't have been able to live with what he ordered you to do."

"All bets are off when the woman you love is threatened." John murmured looking away.

"Oh you mean like you went seeking revenge against Simmons for shooting me?" Joss asked quietly feeling him stiffen a bit. "Shaw mentioned something about it yesterday at the precinct. So all bets are off when the woman you love is threatened, means you throw away your life to avenge theirs? Neither Grace nor I would want that for Harold and you."

"It doesn't matter anyways because they didn't harm Grace, we got her back as we exchanged her for Finch. She's safe now, she's with Lionel."

"Good I'm glad, and now that you're here, we can be together." She stated.

"I have to go Joss."

"No you can go later, right now, I'm going to give you a massage and then we're going to make love slowly." She countered knowing John well enough to hear him wanting to bolt. He was trying to run off because he was upset, afraid, and she wasn't letting that happen.

"Joss, I need to find Finch."

"And you will." She agreed tugging on his arm. He slowly let himself be turned around. "You'll find Finch, because I'll help you."

He opened his mouth to argue, but she pushed his jacket from his body, taking his mouth softly with hers, not wanting to hear his argument. John needed to be made love too. He needed to be reminded of a few things. Like for one thing she wasn't a piece of glass, she could handle anything life threw at her, and secondly that he was human and it was alright to need. And John needed to rest and relax. She could see the red rims around his eyes, she could clearly see the exhaustion in his face, and knew he hadn't slept in a while. Joss tugged on his hands, pulling him towards the stairs. If he didn't want too she wouldn't be allowed to even budge him, but he was willing to let her tug him upstairs.

"Come on John, for the next few hours it's just us the world can wait till later." She assured against his lips tugging him up the stairs. He didn't respond but let her tug him with her. She tugged him to her room, where she pushed his suit blazer off, before undoing the buttons on his dress shirt. He was so exhausted his arms just hung at his sides. John's eyes watched her every movement as she pushed his dress shirt off, before she tugged his undershirt from his pants. Joss wasn't sure if she was even going to get to make love to him because his eyes were half shut as it was. He didn't say a word as she crouched down before him untying his shoes, coaxing him to use her shoulders as an aide as she helped him step out of his dress shoes and take his socks off.

Joss stood up undoing his belt, unzipping, and unsnapping his pants and they fell down his trim hips. Their eyes met. She left him in his underwear, tugging him forward, and he languidly laid on his stomach for her. "I'll be right back, John." She whispered as he curled her pillow under his head. His eyes tracked her, but those long lashes of his were getting closer to his cheeks. Joss hurried into her bathroom, grabbed some sensual and soothing oil to rub into his shoulders that anyone within a mile radius could see had knot upon knot in them. She hurried out, seeing his eyes shut. Joss climbed onto the bed, straddled his butt, and he sighed.

"Joss," he yawned as he tried to roll over.

"No, I'm giving you that massage." She pressed her hands gently against his back. Joss's eyes explored his wide expanse of his back. He had nearly the same amount of scars on his back as he did on his chest and abdomen. He was a warrior through and through. One that was battle scarred, nearly broken, but too proud and stubborn to break. She looked up to the ceiling, thanking god, that Finch and she found him when they had because she knew had they not gotten to him when they had he might not be here today. She squirted some of the oil into her hands, before she rubbed them together warming the oil up before she touched his tight shoulders.

"Mmm," he moaned as she pressed her hands to those knot ridden shoulders. She smiled.

"Don't do that John, don't moan like that or my resolve on giving you just a massage might flee." She teased him. She rubbed his shoulders first, taking time to press and rub a particular tight knot she found.

"How can I not, you're amazing at this." He whispered as he yawned.

She leaned down, keeping her hands massaging. "Go to sleep, John." She whispered in his ear. He murmured something that sounded like a protest but his body gave out on him, as he fell asleep. His breathing grew even, his eyes remained shut, and she continued to rub his back. With John out she had time to think about what the future was going to bring, and one thing she knew for certain, was that whatever was heading their way they were going to face it together. 

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><p>AN: Next chapter there is an episode jump again because in my head I envision that Joss wouldn't have been utilized much in 3x22 she might have gotten maybe a tiny bit to play, but for the most part it would have happened exactly as how that episode aired or at least that's how I envisioned it :D So next chapter jumps to 3x23 which was the finale. Next chapter was the original end that I wrote for myself after the episode aired, I did not leave it there for you guys. I'll try to post it tomorrow for you guys! Thanks for reading XOXOXOXOXOX!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Okay so this chapter is a time jump from the events in 3x21. It skips to 3x23 the finale :)**

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><p>This wasn't how it was supposed to go. John walked with Finch and Bear as they headed away from the library, seeing the SWAT team arriving just a few minutes too late. He had his new identity still in its manila envelope. John didn't want to open it, yet, he didn't want to know who he was to become. He didn't want to leave his purpose, his friends, and most of all he didn't want to leave Joss. But he saw no other way around it. Root had crafted 7 identities for them all including her hacker friends whom she wanted to protect for helping. They wouldn't be called on for help ever again. They were going to disappear and live under the assumed names. Just like they had too. John just hoped like hell that it was only temporarily. Finch looked in shock, most likely it was due in part of being shot. The first was always the worst.<p>

"Keep Bear with you," he murmured carrying his plan B bag that housed several of his guns he didn't want to lose.

"John…." He whispered and their eyes met. John slowly began walking further away as Finch paused with Bear, clearly having to go a different way. John had to go see Joss. He had to tell her goodbye. He couldn't just disappear from her life without word. He loved her too much to do that to her. Finch dropped his head down, John stared at him, looked at Bear almost wanting to command the dog to take good care of Finch until he could make sure the elder man would be safe. Nothing could happen to Finch, he worked too hard to get Harold back.

Harold looked up and their eyes met one last time, and John forced himself to continue to walk away. John turned and headed away, not seeing his friend turning and walking away with the dog that watched his other master longingly. John hailed a taxi, the cabby, opened the trunk for him. "Take me to the 8th precinct please." He whispered as he climbed in.

The cabby didn't say anything just nodded his head happily, before zooming off. John's heart ached as the cabby drove him closer and closer to the 8th. How was he going to convince Joss that she had to let him go? If there was anything he knew about the woman he loved she wasn't going to let him go. She wasn't going to let him just leave her. But he had to convince her somehow. Somehow someway he was going to have to get Joss to understand what was happening she couldn't stop. Decima won….for now, but not forever.

"Here you are," the cabby spoke drawing him from his thoughts.

"Can you wait out here, I won't be long."

"It's your meter, sir." He assured with a grin and John forced a smile. He exited the taxi, moved up the steps languidly. The new identity was burning a hole in his jacket pocket, as he entered the precinct, and flashed Stills' badge one last time to the clerk, before discarding it in the garbage bin as he entered the bullpen. He smiled softly seeing her. She had a hand under her chin looking bored to tears as she worked on some sort of paperwork. Her pencil was moving, she yawned. Her eyes lifted and found him as if she felt his eyes on her. She immediately stood up, Fusco turned to see where she was heading off too and his eyes widened as he eyed him.

"John what are you doing here?"

"We need to talk someplace private." He murmured. She nodded before motioning to one of the interrogation rooms. Fusco and Carter shared a look, they spoke on some sort of wavelength John decided, as he entered the interrogation room first. He heard the door shut, he turned, and she was in his arms.

"Whatever it is, whatever has you this upset that it's written all over your face, we can face it together."

"Not this, Joss." He pushed out of her arms, taking her cheeks with his. "They won for now. Samaritan is online fully, they have the government feeds. Joss I don't even know if I should be here right now but I didn't want to disappear without you knowing why."

"Disappear? You're not going anywhere."

"I have too. Joss, to save my life and the lives of our mutual friends I have to become someone else. I have to live this ordinary life, be someone I'm not, and if I make one wrong move I'll be discovered and so will our friends."

"But…" he pressed his mouth against hers, as his eyes slid shut hating that he felt a burning at the backs of his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was ever going to see this woman again. He wasn't sure if he ever was going to get to hear her voice again. He poured everything in this last kiss. He tried to pour every ounce of love he felt for her into it. She gasped as she clutched his shoulders tightly in her hands and she matched the intensity of the kiss. After several moments, John pushed back, resting his forehead against hers.

"Joss, I love you."

"I love you too, John." Her voice was soft; he felt wetness against his fingers knowing she was crying. He stared into her eyes.

"I love you, Joss, which is why we can't be together, if there was any other way I'd do it, but to save everyone including you I have to go."

"John I refuse to say goodbye, this isn't goodbye." She was fighting against the inevitable.

"But it is, Joss. I have to go now."

"No," she shook her head. "This isn't how it's supposed to go, we went through hell already why do we have to go through more? It's not fair."

"Some people don't get to ever experience love or happiness, Joss. We had months of happiness, and years of trust and love. It's more than what some get." John kissed her cheeks. "I love you, forever, Joss. I told you nothing will ever make me stop loving you. Be safe." He stepped back.

"John, its goodbye for now, not forever, we'll be together again I guarantee it." her voice cracked but was strong, and resilient. He forced himself to turn away, to walk away from her, exiting the interrogation room and each step he took from her his heart broke apart wider and deeper than ever before.

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><p>Joss slammed the interrogation room door shut once more as John's blurry image disappeared. She smacked her fist against the table in anger, she suppressed the growing need to cry. The door opened and she half prayed it was John but it was Fusco.<p>

"Hey what happened? Are you okay?"

"No Fusco I'm not okay, I think John just broke up with me, and they're all in danger and there is not a damn thing we can do about it right now."

"I'll cover for you with the captain, go home." He offered.

"Thanks," she murmured, for once indulging herself. She wasn't going to cry in front of anyone. She wanted to be alone when she cried because she didn't think her tears would stop. Joss forced herself from the interrogation room feeling uneven, Fusco eyed her with concern. Joss left. She wouldn't have been able to concentrate on her stupid paperwork anyways.

She arrived at her place, unlocked the door, and flung her clothes off of her as she climbed the stairs. She didn't know when her son would get home, but right now she didn't even care if the place looked like a mess. Joss, got to her bedroom and found his dress shirt she stole a couple days ago, she picked it up from the floor slid it over her naked form. Joss swallowed hard as tears burned at the backs of her eyes, her throat felt like it was closing as she buttoned the shirt up. She climbed onto her bed, snuggled in his shirt, and began crying. Her strangled sobs was the only sound in the empty apartment.

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><p>Joss felt pitiful. It had been days since John came by the precinct and effectively broke things off with her. Her heart felt shattered. She had taken a couple personal days off from work. Tears slipped down her face, while she scooped ice cream up onto her spoon, and placed it into her mouth. She sniffed as she heard a sound at her door. She looked away from the sappy movie, and watched her boy enter.<p>

"Hey mom," Taylor called.

"Hey," she called back, grabbing her remote and pressed pause. "What are you doing here, I thought you had a study group?" she asked as her kid came over and eyed her with pity, as she picked up some tissue to rub at her eyes.

"I decided to skip it and instead hang out with you here."

She eyed him with a stern glare. "No, Taylor, your grades mean a lot. You don't need to stick around with your old mom here." She said before pointing at the movie. "Besides I'm watching a sappy romance movie, to remind myself my life isn't nearly as fucked up as theirs, you don't want to be here to see this." Taylor didn't comment on her anger, or the fact that she very rarely ever swore in front of him. He just moved towards her.

"You're crying, eating ice cream, and wearing pajamas at six in the evening, and you have a black suit blazer on." Her kid pointed out all the evidence of her being a lovesick fool who was dumped by an amazing guy.

"I was cold thanks to the ice cream." She defended as she snuggled herself further into John's blazer that he had mistakenly left at her place. It smelled like him and his cologne, which made her lose herself in memories of happier times together. She was never washing this, until she had him back. "Besides he has a million of these it's not like he'll miss one, Tay."

"What happened?" Taylor asked quietly sitting near her socked feet, he picked her feet up and placed them on his lap. "You guys were so happy."

"We were," she agreed gruffly as tears welled up in her eyes. "We were really happy together, Tay, but sometimes love isn't enough."

"I don't believe that and neither do you. You and Mr. Badass love one another, you guys belong together things will work out."

"I'm not so sure, baby, because John didn't want to break things off with me. He had too. How am I supposed to get him back? How do we even move forward when he feels there is no other option other than leaving me to protect me?" She questioned. "Never mind, honey, I shouldn't be laying this all on you." She waved him off with her spoon.

"Well if John didn't really want to break things off with you, then it will be easier to show him you can handle whatever it is he's worried about. I don't know too much about what he really does, but whatever it is it must be dangerous for him to want to leave to protect you. But, you are the strongest woman I know you can handle anything, and once John realizes that too, you two will be back together quickly."

"The thing is, Tay, he knows that. He knows I can handle myself he knows I'm strong willed, but there is something going on that I can't tell you, but it's an obstacle that neither John or I can fight against. At least not yet, anyways."

She scooped more ice cream up and ate it, while Taylor rubbed her feet. "Mom, if there is anything I know about you is that you never give up. Even when odds are stacked against you, you never give up, so don't give up on John and you being together. Because you guys love one another, things will work out if not now then later. You have to have faith."

"Thanks Taylor," she smiled. "Now go on get to your study group you don't have to sit with your mom, while she cries the blues about her boyfriend breaking up with her. Because you're right, I'm going to get John back, one way or another." She smiled feeling better since talking with her kid.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

"Are you going to take that blazer off?"

"Hell no, it's warm, and John's." she said and Taylor laughed. She pulled it closer to her body. "Go, Taylor." He smiled before he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, alright I'm going, see you in a bit mom."

"See you baby." She waved her spoon as he stood up, moving back to the door, and grabbed his jacket. Her boy was right, she never gave up, and she wasn't willing to give up now. Right now John and she couldn't be together, but, soon things had to look up and she was going to get that man back. She smiled as she watched the sappy romance movie.

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><p>AN: This was the end for me, because when I wrote this I had no idea what would happen with their new identities, so this sat on my computer collecting dust forever. Then when they got their identities I decided to finish this, plus I decided to post to share with you guys. There is like two more chapters or so :)<p>

Thanks for reading!


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